One thing I've struggled with this past semester is trying to be both social and studious. My first two years in college, it was easier. But now, it's really tough. I never thought that I would struggle so much in this department, but I do.

Being social was never something that was hard for me. I've always had a decent sized group of friends and was usually able to maintain said group of friends. I mean, here and there would switches, but for the most part, it was cohesive. In high school, being studious was never really my thing. I hate studying and sitting down to do work. Something I struggle to this day because of how hyperactive my brain is. But I always got what I needed to get done, done.

Now I'm struggling. Most mornings, I open eyes and immediately crave to have them closed again.

People always say that instead of stressing about the work that you need to get done, get it done. But it's not that easy. In college, there are so much more factors that play a role in this. Being social is one of them. Given that my whole group pretty much fell apart on its own due to everyone's busy lives, I still feel like I don't make enough effort to reach out to them. When I get those texts about hanging out, I usually like to opt out with an "I'm busy" response even though I know damn well I'm not.

Or getting guaranteed a ride to a party but still somehow finding an excuse to not go. Yup, that's me.

However, I also learned that being too social can be very disastrous, as well. I had a friend who had to move out of his suite because he was partying too much with them and academically, he took a huge blow. On the contrary, when I moved into a single dorm room, I still don't find myself doing the things that I need to do. Moving was probably one of the best and worst decisions of life. I honestly barely leave my room on weekends. I lock myself in here with some Netflix and a glass of wine and call it a day, because why not?

But I'm not getting my work done either. You think I would, but I don't. The thing is, as a journalism major, a lot of the work involves me leaving my room and going out to do things.

See where I'm going with this?

I don't know if I'm just losing motivation or what. But I can feel a change happening. And I don't like it. I need to have more discipline, but it's hard. I am one of those people who stress about work and procrastinate till the last minute to get it done. It's a bad habit I wish I knew how to break.

I wish I was a better student and friend. I envy those who can do both. I really envy them. But I really need to start taking my own advice and start doing something to change this. It's only week four. I need to get my shit together and fast, cause I can't afford not to.