I'll be honest. Going into my first year of college, party culture terrified me. I wasn't that worried about the normal college things, like moving in with a stranger or the ominous mountains of homework that high school teachers always alluded to. It was the threat of peer pressure, alcohol, and drugs that really freaked me out.
I've always been a bit of a goody-two-shoes, so drinking underage and doing drugs has always been basically taboo to me. Vaping still makes me make that uncomfortable, ornery face that tortoises are always making. I had friends who drank alcohol or did drugs in high school, but since I didn't live at high school like I do at college, I was able to distance myself from the illegality of it all. Plus, my friends in high school had known me for years and knew that I would never want to take or even be around any of these substances. But my new college friends didn't know this about me. Would they invite me to some of those notorious college parties? Would they show up to movie nights in my room with booze? Would they try to pressure me into trying marijuana?
It turns out my fears were wildly inaccurate. Here's a list of some of my expectations and the corresponding realities that my first year of college revealed to me.
Telling people I'm sober
Expectation...
I had always been under the impression that not drinking made you lame, and deciding not to drink your whole life was even more embarrassing. To be honest, high school didn't help that impression; "cool" kids drank, and anything other than that was not tolerated. I was worried that I would be belittled or laughed at for being childish, or worse, shamed and shunned as that lame chick who doesn't like to have fun. It's hard enough to make friends in the first place, and when you're suddenly being thrust into a situation where you're legitimately living with complete strangers, not being willing to sit down for a beer with them would seem to hurt your odds of making a friend more than help.
Reality
In reality, everyone who I talked to about my partying and drinking habits (or lack thereof) were very accepting. It may just be that I surrounded myself with some very respectable and pleasant people, but the fact is that I only encountered acceptance and approval for my alcoholic abstinence. One boy I met, who told me multiple stories about his adventures with alcohol, even applauded me for it, which I found surprising. Not only were so many people accepting, but a good few were also non-drinkers like me.
Though I never attended a party all freshman year, I learned something interesting about these social gatherings: They will often have someone there who won't drink that day as "risk management" in order to take care of people, make sure the party doesn't get rowdy enough for the cops to be called, watch that fights don't break out, etc. You could actually go to a party and be hailed for not drinking, which seems to me like the social butterfly's dream. Personally, I stuck to having movie nights with the bros and binge-watching "Bob's Burgers" with my roommate, but hey, to each their own.
Saying "no" to drugs (and alcohol)
Expectation...
Here's basically what I expected to happen my first time anyone offered me any sort of substance: "Hey kid, you want to buy some drugs?" the creepy upperclassman would whisper to me from behind a dumpster. I don't want any drugs, but if I say no he'll have to kill me because I've seen his face and can blow his cover or something, right? So I'd have to run to my dorm in a frenzied panic before I get shanked in the dark, scared and alone.
Of course, this situation is very unlikely, but I at least expected some peer pressure that I would have to continually refuse and get more and more flustered each time I had to say no. "Come on Lindsay, try it, it tastes just like rootbeer but will give you a little bit of a buzz!" "Stop being so stubborn!" "Why do you have to ruin the party?" Etc, etc.
Reality
What actually happened was that my roommate and I were eating with some of our friends on campus and they were obviously a little tipsy already. The whole meal, they discussed their plans to go back to their rooms and get shit-faced and I sat there clenching my butt cheeks dreading the inevitable question.
"Do you guys wanna come with us?" one of them asked.
I had been preparing to spit out the word "NO" the whole time, rehearsing it in my head like it was some sort of meditative mantra. When I forcefully shoved the word "NO" out of my mouth, our friends looked liked I punched them.
"Damn, okay fine then, chill," they trilled. Apparently, my carefully rehearsed non-negotiable tone was way overkill and they would have been fine with a "Nah man, I'm not into that kind of stuff."
Talking about drugs
Expectation...
Since I basically avoid all things drug, I know like two things about them. One, that they're illegal, and two, that you smoke marijuana. Other than that, I'm basically clueless. I get their effects mixed up a lot. With this dearth of knowledge, you would think that any kind of talk about drugs would help me expand my mental library (with these facts filed right under "ew" in the Dewey Decimal System of my brain).
Reality
This evidently was not the case. Not many people I knew would talk about drugs, and even less ever mentioned doing them to me. However, most of the time it was all just jokes. "We're making brownies! They're special. And by special we mean they have chocolate chips in them."
