Being Single In The Generation Of Love We Grew Up In
Start writing a post

Being Single In The Generation Of Love We Grew Up In

How did our society manage to create the idea that being single means you are lonely? How do we break this false "trend"?

Being Single In The Generation Of Love We Grew Up In

You're walking into a park and find yourself surrounded by couples on their dates. You hear the voices of laughter and feel the air filled with love. You smile and adore the love around you, but then you find yourself reflecting upon your own love life. In that moment, it all clicks. You are single, and all of a sudden, you feel like something is wrong. You are alone.

It is easy to fall into the attitude that when someone is single, they are "alone," which all of a sudden means they are lonely. We've heard people refer to themselves being single and lonely plenty of times. We can even find ourselves guilty of saying it about ourselves at one point. Being single, as some may have said before and as I believe strongly myself, is not a bad thing. Yet, why is it that a lot of people struggle with being single? Because we grew up in a generation that makes being single not always easy.We grew up in a generation that single means you're lonely.

There are many cultural and societal judgmental beliefs, essentially pressures, that we associate with being single that often takes over the mind of single people. For instance, there is always some type of unspoken vibe in the room with the talk of marriage. Whenever you have family reunions, the topic of relationships and marriage seems to come up somehow, especially when you break away from the teen years and into the adult life. Society has created this image that everyone should be married one day, indirectly leading to the question of, "When are you going to find a significant other?" We created this idea that if you're not in a relationship or you're not looking to be in one yet, there is something wrong. It creates a pressure to those who are single within, manifesting the feeling of being lonely.

Truth is, there is no guideline for somebody to feel lonely. You do not have to be single to be lonely. Somebody could be in a relationship and still feel lonely. This is the reason why we find people staying in unhealthy relationships to avoid the idea of being labeled lonely. We find ourselves going on meaningless dates with incompatible people just to have somebody to talk to and to break away from being viewed as alone and sad. Anybody can feel lonely, regardless of their relationship status, but it also does not mean that if you are alone, you are lonely. However, this generation has manifested that the three words, "single", "alone" and "lonely", travel together.

It is time that you break away from the judgmental beliefs that society has created. It is normal to feel lonely or scared when you are single. It happens, and it is inevitable, but do not live your life under this fake and unreasonable idea that if you are single, you are alone and lonely. Stop chasing after someone just so that you can fulfill society's expectations. Stop trying to look for someone who you can potentially have a relationship with. Stop telling yourself that you're not looking for something, while you try to pick up on overthought hints from someone you're chasing after. Slow yourself down. Catch a break with your body and mind. Tell yourself that what you are feeling is not because you are single, but because these are the ideas that we put into our heads from society's standards. You are fighting a battle within yourself that our culture has created for you.

Learn to not be afraid of being alone. Make out the difference between being alone and lonely. You can be alone and still happy. Self-reflect upon who you are. Only you know who you truly are. You are not someone who isn't worthy of being in a relationship. Right now just is not your time, and that is okay. Love yourself, and have faith in yourself that you can control your life being single. Treat yourself, and take yourself on dates. Have fun! Hang out with the people who actually matter, not fake friendships that are supposed to make you feel less "lonely." Get used to the idea of hanging out with yourself is OK. Enjoy the time you have to yourself because there are people out there who wish they can have your freedom again, even if they do not say it out loud. Remember that not everyone in a relationship is happy. People want to show what they want others to believe of their lives. Forget these unofficial expectations and standards created in this generation, and just be honest with yourself.

And most importantly, don't settle when you do not want to. Don't let the idea of being with someone define your expectation of happiness. Don't let society set that for you. Do you and be happy. You'll realize that you being "single, alone, and lonely" altogether is a temporary belief that this world has created, and you were brave and strong enough to not only challenge but prove it wrong.

"Don't make important decisions from a place of loneliness. When you finally come to yourself, bad decisions will enhance loneliness." - B. Loammi Diaz

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments