Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Being Selfish Isn’t Wrong When It Comes To Your Own Well-Being

Sometimes being selfish is the only way to save yourself.

Being Selfish Isn’t Wrong When It Comes To Your Own Well-Being
Grace Vazquez

Ever since I got to college, my mom has been telling me “now is the time to be a little selfish," but I never knew what she meant. I have never been the type of person who puts myself before others, it's physically impossible for me. I'm not trying to sound “holier than thou," but the experiences I have been in have simply shaped how I value others needs. That being said, when my mom told me this the first few times I instantly blew her off.

However, things in my life began to go a little topsy turvey and I started to understand what she meant. She wasn't simply saying for me to write everyone off and do my own thing, she was explaining to me that in order for me to accomplish the goals I have set, I'm going to have to put my needs higher up on my list of priorities.

For example, I cannot say no to a job. When employers or volunteer members approach me, I am easily convinced that I should help or work under them. Since joining college, I've had to quit countless jobs and it's absolutely crushed me. I hate letting people down, and I know that's exactly what I'm doing. But for the sake of my sanity, if a job doesn't fit my needs right now I've realized it's better to quit now than to do the bare minimum and disappoint them continually. By stepping down I'm giving these employers the opportunity to find someone who can better meet their needs.

It's better to do my best in a few areas than stretch myself way too thin and not meet the qualifications in anything, and that's what my mom was trying to tell me. There's nothing wrong with being selfish when determining your future, as long as you understand why you're doing it.

That's being said, I am not advocating to be a wrecking ball and screw people over because they aren't benefiting you at that moment. I believe that is wrong and I will never advocate for that. There's a difference between knowing your limits and testing others.

When choosing your future, you should think through the path you're choosing to go down and how you're going to pull it off.

My freshman year I was spreading myself way too thin and I was not happy or healthy. I was putting others needs before my own to the point that I couldn't function as a human being, and it was seriously detrimental. Going into this year, I had to evaluate my decisions so that I could prevent this from happening and it's the best thing I've ever done.

At the end of the day, I think it's important that you distinguish others wants from others needs. It's still important to be a kind helping hand to others, but don't destroy yourself in order to do it. People will understand if you say “I need to step back and take a breath" if they're genuine about their intentions. And in those situations, I believe it's okay to be a little selfish.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.


The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers


Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?


Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments