Health and Wellness

Being Selfish Isn’t Wrong When It Comes To Your Own Well-Being

Sometimes being selfish is the only way to save yourself.

Being Selfish Isn’t Wrong When It Comes To Your Own Well-Being
Grace Vazquez

Ever since I got to college, my mom has been telling me “now is the time to be a little selfish," but I never knew what she meant. I have never been the type of person who puts myself before others, it's physically impossible for me. I'm not trying to sound “holier than thou," but the experiences I have been in have simply shaped how I value others needs. That being said, when my mom told me this the first few times I instantly blew her off.

However, things in my life began to go a little topsy turvey and I started to understand what she meant. She wasn't simply saying for me to write everyone off and do my own thing, she was explaining to me that in order for me to accomplish the goals I have set, I'm going to have to put my needs higher up on my list of priorities.

For example, I cannot say no to a job. When employers or volunteer members approach me, I am easily convinced that I should help or work under them. Since joining college, I've had to quit countless jobs and it's absolutely crushed me. I hate letting people down, and I know that's exactly what I'm doing. But for the sake of my sanity, if a job doesn't fit my needs right now I've realized it's better to quit now than to do the bare minimum and disappoint them continually. By stepping down I'm giving these employers the opportunity to find someone who can better meet their needs.

It's better to do my best in a few areas than stretch myself way too thin and not meet the qualifications in anything, and that's what my mom was trying to tell me. There's nothing wrong with being selfish when determining your future, as long as you understand why you're doing it.

That's being said, I am not advocating to be a wrecking ball and screw people over because they aren't benefiting you at that moment. I believe that is wrong and I will never advocate for that. There's a difference between knowing your limits and testing others.

When choosing your future, you should think through the path you're choosing to go down and how you're going to pull it off.

My freshman year I was spreading myself way too thin and I was not happy or healthy. I was putting others needs before my own to the point that I couldn't function as a human being, and it was seriously detrimental. Going into this year, I had to evaluate my decisions so that I could prevent this from happening and it's the best thing I've ever done.

At the end of the day, I think it's important that you distinguish others wants from others needs. It's still important to be a kind helping hand to others, but don't destroy yourself in order to do it. People will understand if you say “I need to step back and take a breath" if they're genuine about their intentions. And in those situations, I believe it's okay to be a little selfish.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.


From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less

Anyone who goes to Panera Bread will tell you that their mac and cheese is to die for. If you're a huge fan of their mac and cheese, you won't believe the new recipe they're coming out with!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments