I guess I have always considered myself to be a romantic person. Some call it being a hopeless romantic while others choose to use the term hopeful romantic. I’m not entirely sure of the difference or which I should identify as; I just know that I have always been interested in the idea of relationships and the possibility of falling in love.
I see through heart-shaped lenses that mold the world into a place full of romantic potential. Unfortunately, college isn’t necessarily the right kind world to see through these lenses.
When I first arrived at college in the fall of 2016, I was excited to build brand new relationships with people. Laying the foundation for new friendships is a thrilling experience, and I was equally as excited for romantic relationships. High school had no potential for anything romantic, since I was one of very few gay kids in the school.
But college is a diverse institution filled with people from all over. I now know that I definitely had a naive outlook—and I probably still do. I assumed that life would be like a Hallmark Original movie and in the first week of school, and that I would be swept off my feet into an epic whirlwind romance. But that didn’t happen.
I have been fortunate to make many amazing friends over the course of three semesters, and I am grateful for each and every one of them. But as a romantic guy, I can’t ever shake off those heart-shaped lenses. For me, there is a potential meet-cute around every corner, even if that has yet to be proven true.
The problem with being in college is that most people are not here for romance. The college hook-up culture is an intricate network in which sex dominates and romance is swept under the rug. I have friends who couldn’t even remember the names of the person they hooked up with just the night before.
I’m not judging the people who like hooking up. I think that as long as it is a 100% consensual and respectful exchange between two people, there is nothing wrong with it. But it definitely isn’t what I want.
It is easy to feel discouraged. No matter how hard a person tries, it doesn’t always result in getting what they want. No matter how much I want to be in a relationship with a boy that I am head-over-heels in love with, it doesn’t mean I will be rewarded with one at the drop of a hat. But I think that is a part of the excitement of love in college. Since it can be a difficult task, it makes the prospect even more thrilling.
I can’t and don’t expect every relationship I get into to be an epic romance that is written in the stars. And love-at-first sight definitely does not exist, at least not in the way Disney portrays it on the screen. I embrace a practical side to romance, a side that reminds me that not every boy will be "The One" and that some relationships simply don’t work out. Break ups and unrequited affection happens.
But I never want to stop being a romantic, no matter how "hopeless" or "hopeful" I may be. Novelist Elinor Glyn once wrote, “Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.” To put it simply, I think love pretty great.
