One of the first things I started to notice when I got to college was how fast everything moves: classes, weeks, weekends, breaks, and just time in general. Days don’t drag on, the way they did in high school, and each Friday surely doesn’t feel like an entire week from the last. When everything feels like it’s moving at the speed of light, it can be hard to remember to slow down and just take things as they come, even when you know that’s the healthiest thing to do. As my first semester of college is coming to a close, there are many areas of myself and my life that I’m working on being more patient with, and I’m hoping my experiences can help enlighten others as well.

Majors

A lot of my friends came to my college specifically for the Psychology program, and so they pretty much already knew what they wanted to major in, what classes they needed to take, and a rough outline of what their next four years would look academically. I, on the other hand, came in completely undecided, and I’m still figuring it out. In my mind I’ve switched from Women and Gender Studies to Political Science to Sociology and all the way back around again. Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of following the Psychology path too, but when I think about it, I often start to worry about how I’ll be a semester behind all my friends who came in knowing they wanted to do Psychology. What if they all get to take classes together for the next four years and I don’t? What if I constantly feel left out and behind? But then I stop myself, because I know this isn’t true. While there are some classes all Psychology majors will take, not everyone will take them the same semester. And on top of that, the list of possible Psychology electives is endless. Then there’s PLS requirements to fill, and of course classes that we’ll take just for fun. The chance that I’ll be in classes with my friends is probably higher than the chance I won’t. And surely there are other Psychology majors here that didn’t come in knowing what they wanted to do. It’s more important that I take the time to take classes that interest me to find out what it is that I really love instead of diving into a major that isn’t right for me, and not worrying about how long it takes me, or that I’m somehow behind other people. I think this same advice goes for everyone; take the time to figure out what you’re passionate about, and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing. Be patient in finding it, because it’s so worth it when the fire is lit in your heart about something you care about. The only person that can truly make you happy is yourself, so it’s so important to be studying something you genuinely enjoy, even if it takes a few semesters to really discover what that is.

Campus Involvement

I remember back in early October feeling like everyone had already found their niche; they were in a few clubs they really enjoyed, or they’d auditioned for some type of performance group and gotten in. Meanwhile, I was still trying out twenty different things, and struggling to find something I really loved. I felt like everyone else already had their lives together, and I was alone out in left field. But then I stopped and took a breath, and reminded myself that it was still so early in the semester, and still so early in my college career. Now it’s the end of the semester, and I’ll admit that I’m still not exactly where I want to be in terms of what I’m involved in. But starting to write for the Odyssey was a huge step in the right direction for me, and I’m hoping to get involved with a youth outreach organization next semester, and maybe a photography club that my friend is starting as well. It’s so easy to get caught up in comparing how you’re doing to how other people are doing, but once again I believe it to be true that it’s more important to spend the time finding the things you’re truly passionate about and that you truly enjoy. Being involved in one or two things that you actually get something out of is so much more fulfilling than being involved in ten random things just because other people are. This isn’t high school where we’re trying to be involved in everything we possibly can so we can put it on our college applications. We’ve made it past that, and it’s all about doing the things that we love and the things that will help prepare us for our future careers.

Friendships

As a college first-year, I’m in a huge melting pot of people who have just been torn away from their best friends back home, so naturally everyone is rushing to find new people with whom they can go out with and sit in the dining hall with. This led me to latch onto the very first people I met, even though they weren’t necessarily people I clicked with. The very first people I felt close to here mostly aren’t the same people I hang out with now. This in itself was difficult, because by the time I finally felt like I’d found the right people, I felt like they’d all known each other longer than I did, even if it was just a few weeks’ difference. Even though I know I’ve found the right people, there’s that want to move things along and have stronger, better connections with people. I think a lot of this stems from the feelings I have about my couple best friends at home; I so desperately want to have similar relationships here. But I have to stop and remember that I literally grew up with my friends at home, and those bonds took years upon years to build to where they are now, and part of what made them great was that they just blossomed on their own. Friendships are the best when they’re organic and unforced, and there’s no reason to feel like they need to be rushed. Wanting to know certain people better because we click well and have things in common is one thing, but I don’t need to feel anxious if something doesn’t bring us closer each day, or if other people are closer to certain people than I am at this moment. Everything takes time. It’s only been one semester; I’ll live right down the hall or right down the stairs from these same lovely humans next semester, and even in the three years that follow they’ll never be farther than a five minute walk away. Finding friends in college that you genuinely want to know better is amazing, but it’s so important to remind yourself that you don’t need to replicate your friendships from home. You can have people you enjoy spending time with in both places, and for different reasons. Love the new people you meet for who they are, and enjoy watching these friendships slowly develop over time. In four years you’ll have so much to look back on.

Yourself

This is a really broad topic, and being patient with yourself means so many different things to so many different people. As someone with a chronic health condition, for me this means being patient with my body. When everything around me seems to be moving at the speed of light, I have to remind myself that it’s okay to take the time I need to stay healthy. This has meant many things this semester, including taking three classes instead of four, missing out on 4 A.M. deep talks because I need to go to bed earlier so I can get up earlier, and just having to take more breaks from academic work and hanging out with friends in general. It can be hard to do this when there’s so much pressure to rush along with everyone else, especially when the fear of missing out looms so big. But even if the world isn’t inherently patient, I need to remind myself that it’s okay to take the time to take care of myself, and be patient with my body as it adjusts to a new place and a new way of life. This is obviously very specific to me, but in general it’s important to remember to be patient with yourself in mind, body, and soul, and take whatever time you need to take to do that, no matter how fast the world outside is spinning.