Woah, destruction? Isn't that a little intense? Yes, it is. But it is supposed to be. Being passive is not a healthy way to live. If you are a generally passive person, you have become accustomed to not telling people what is on your mind or how you feel. I am here to tell you that that is not OK.
Wouldn't it be so perfect to live in a world where your ideas, thoughts, feelings, and opinions were well accepted and celebrated every time you decided to share them? Well, heck yeah, that sounds great. Unfortunately, that is not the world we live in and nothing will ever be that simple. Does that mean you shouldn't try? Absolutely not. For the betterment of yourself, you need to learn that it is crucial you speak up when you need to.
Now, I will create a few circumstances and the outcomes of speaking up or staying quiet. Let's start it off easy.
1. Your teacher just said something that made no sense, but you don't want to ask a question in fear of sounding stupid.
When you speak up: You receive an answer and realized that other people were probably very thankful that you asked.
When you stay quiet: You regret it and remain confused on the subject.
2. You and your best friend do not agree on something that is important to you. Hey, maybe if you don't mention it then it won't come up again.
When you speak up: You tell her/him that you didn't agree with what he/she said and you express your opinion on the subject. Whether there is still disagreement or not, your friend now knows how you feel. There will be no tension or uneasiness if the subject comes up again. Now there is an understanding and she/he knows how to approach it better in the future. If he/she is a true friend, they will respect your feelings and there will be no further conflict on the matter. What is important to you will be important to him/her. It is okay to not agree on everything, but it is not okay to pretend like all is well.
When you stay quiet: Anger builds up whenever you think of the conversation and you start to get annoyed by relating things. Pent up energy puts up barriers in your friendship and the other person is clueless as to why there is uneasiness. Your lack of communication creates unwanted walls and the other person doesn't know how to fix something that has never been addressed.
3. You have feelings for a person but are unsure of how they feel.
When you speak up: You are being brave and honest about your feelings. You get a response in some way, whether it be negative or positive. If it is positive, you just moved things along so much faster and that person is probably very relieved. If it is a negative response, at least you know. Now, you don't have to live in confusion for an excessive amount of time.
When you stay quiet: You spend way too much time thinking about it. They still don't know how you feel and you still have no idea what page they are on. You're choosing to deal with uncertainty.
Those are three examples that prove that not speaking up causes more conflict for you than the other party/parties involved. There are so many other ways that being passive can be destructive in your friendships, relationships, and workmates. You must respect yourself enough to express things even when it terrifies you.
Share your brilliant ideas at work.
Tell her that you like her.
Tell your best friend that she doesn't look good in yellow.
Tell him that things are just not working out anymore.
Ask questions when you are confused.
If someone hurts your feelings, tell them.
If you see someone making fun of another person, say something.
Tell your mom that you don't like her meatloaf.
Speak up. Don't let something minor turn into something major. You are applicable to make things so much easier for yourself; all you need is a little courage and a few seconds of bravery. Those few seconds can save a long term friendship from a short term problem. Those few seconds can lead to a promotion. Those few seconds can end a harmful relationship. Those few seconds can make all of the difference in the world!
