If you haven’t watched an episode of friends you’re slightly behind the curve for our modern society. If you haven’t, I’d recommend watching an episode or two, if only to understand the implications when someone compares you to Rachel, Ross, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, or if you are anything like me, Monica. When I was in ninth grade, my friend Caitlyn told me I reminded her of Monica. From then on, it has been a reoccurring event or, to make matters worse, people refer to me as the “mom friend”.
Monica is described by many as the unofficial den mother, or mother hen of the friend group. She is extremely neat and orderly, and feels the need to take charge of situations. She strives to maintain order and follow all the rules. She, therefore, is often seen as the boring, uninteresting friend. I am the youngest out of my friend group, and always have been. My birthday is in December and I began school a year early than most. With those factors combined, it plays out that I am quite often the youngest (and smallest considering my 4’11” stature) of the group. Despite my juvenility, I quite often end up being the one who everyone turns to when they need help with something, from needing a band aid to needing advice or help with school work. I also happen to love cleaning and I endeavor to be organized. Usually when my friends make are attempting to make a decision I am the one to bring up potential outcomes and problems with a plan. In other words, I know very well that I am the mom friend, and I’ve learned to embrace it.
I love being the mom friend. It makes me feel needed and often appreciated. The problem with being a mom friend is the fact that often I feel the need to put others problems in front of my own. I would much rather help a friend than help myself. It isn’t exactly healthy. Being a mom friend often makes you feel that everyone needs you to be there for them, and it often leaves you wondering who to turn to. I realize that being in a healthy friendship is a two-way street but I often struggle to find ways to do so.
Being a mom friend is a wonderful thing. I adore it, despite my struggles. I love being able to help my friends, to offer my opinion and be taken seriously. It is hard, it is a process, and it takes great effort to maintain and mold into healthy relationships. But, in truth, I wouldn’t change it for the world. When my friends call me mom I smile. In the end, I know that they need me. And just like Monica, I know I can depend on them.
