Stop asking me when I'll finally settle down.
Stop telling me that by being single now, I always will be.
Stop telling me that my failed relationships in the past will determine the outcomes of my relationships in the future.
Stop telling me that I'll probably end up alone.
Stop telling me that I'm too much of a prude and to just date a guy already.
I am 18 (almost 19) years old and I am single. There is nobody I'm "talking to", there is nobody I am interested in dating long-term, and there is no "special boy" in my life. And I don't mind.
Despite the pressure that is put on me to date someone, I am not dating. I like to go on dates and meet new people. I like to grab coffee with a cute guy, I like to see a movie with a guy who asks me out, and I like to think of who I will develop enough feelings for enough to call my boyfriend, but I am in no rush.
Lately, I have been being told by my family that I'll probably end up alone because I haven't had an official boyfriend in two years. They say that I'm too prudish to settle down. They think that since I don't go out with "enough guys," that I'll probably never date again.
The truth is, I don't see myself with the guys I have previously gone out with, whether it be having an official relationship with them or just a simple date. Maybe it does make me a little prudish to think that God will surely show me who I will spend my future with when it's time, but I do believe it.
Of course I wonder who I will be with and I desire to have someone to have fun with and share my life with, but I am in no rush to have a boyfriend. It's not even that I am focusing on myself right now or that I'm taking a break from guys. I simply think that God will reveal a man to me when it is the right time. That doesn't mean that when I finally start dating again that I will automatically think of that guy being my future husband. It means that when God shows me a man who is fully dedicated to Him and shares my desires in life, I will date him with the intent of getting to know him better and pursuing God's will in that relationship.
I don't date just to date. I don't date because it seems like a good way to pass time. I date because I want to meet someone who I can see a future with.
And that's why I don't want to get married (yet). I don't want to be with someone just to be with them. I feel that there is so much pressure put on me and other young adult women to settle down. I don't think that getting married young is a bad thing (at all), but it's not what's happening for me right now.
I don't want to get married now or even think about it. My time as a single, young adult woman is to get to know myself. This time is to build my foundation on God so that when He does point me in the direction of a man, I will be ready to commit fully to him. This time is to explore God's calling on my life.
I feel no pressure to be someone's girlfriend or someone's wife. I don't feel like that is what God is asking of me right now. I will continue to pray for the man God puts in my path, but until then, I will focus on being a good companion for Christ.
So, please, stop telling me to do on more dates.
Stop telling me to get a boyfriend.
Stop asking me when I'm going to bring a guy home.
I will continue to tell you that I am waiting for the right man. I will give you the same answer: it's not the time for that right now.
As I am finally chasing after God's calling on my life, that is all I want my focus to be on. I don't want to worry about what will come after that. I don't want to feel pressured to date, because I am content with being single. I just want to feel free to do what I want when I want to, with the help and guidance of Jesus. So, when I do find the right man for me you'll all know, and maybe the concern you have for that aspect of my life will be satisfied. Until then, don't put a time limit on God's plan for my life. Even if I am single until I'm 30, it should only be the concern of Jesus and myself.
I don't want to get married just because everyone else wants me to. So, please stop asking.
