Being A Back Home Baller
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Being A Back Home Baller

An ode to "SNL."

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Being A Back Home Baller
SNL.com

As I and thousands of other college students around the country head back home for Thanksgiving break, we try to soak up our parents' affection and love before we have to head back to school for finals. Being an avid "Saturday Night Live" fan, I've watched nearly all the holiday specials and episodes. However, one sketch in particular always sticks out in my mind. Last year, the ladies of "SNL" and host Cameron Diaz performed a song called, "Back Home Ballers." After airing on TV, the song went viral as it was shared on dozens of Facebook walls with the caption, "OMG. Sooooo relatable!" Actually, though. The song is just as #relatable as it is #accurate, and is basically the anthem of every college kid. Here's why.

1. "Walk in the door, hand my bag to the valet... In case you’re wondering — it’s my dad-dy."

After flying across the country, driving countless hours, o,r in my case, driving an hour and a half home, poor 'ol Dad is summoned to come get the luggage. The past eight-plus weeks of college have been so strenuous that you can hardly bear to bring in your own belongings. Tgod for Dad valet!

2. "Head straight to the fridge like a boss yo... Hell yeah — my mom went to Costco."

Ugh, the accuracy. When my parents are away, their fridge is as barren as a sandy Middle Eastern country, but they know that won't fly when I'm at home. Luckily, my mom always stocks up on my favorite foods and snacks before I arrive.

3. "Then I roll up to the washer, laundry game on lock... Gonna do a whole load for just one sock."

Truuueeee. Extra points if you bring home a full laundry hamper for your mom to wash.

4. "This whole damn house is a shrine to me... Cuz everybody here’s obsessed with me."


This one is especially true, being that I am an only child. Our walls are covered with my school pictures, as well as the pictures of when I thought it would be a good idea to have a senior year photoshoot with my saxophone. Although I hate 92 percent of my solo shots up on the wall, my parents refuse to take a single photo down.

5. "If I say 'Mom, tacos,' my mom will make tacos."

Bonus points if you text your mom before your arrival home to tell her what you want for dinner.

6. "When my mom needs help I pretend to be nappin’... Even though I can hear all that is happening... It sounds like she really needs help in the kitchen... But if she thinks I’m moving, then that bitch be trippin."

Sadly, this isn't new for me. Although I do this every single time I've been home from college, I've also done this ever since I was little to get out of doing things. Whoops.

7. "Taking out the trash when my neighbours spot me... They swarm around me like my own paparazzi."

This one is just the worst. After telling your parents, grandma, aunts, uncles, dogs, cats, and great-uncle all of your college stories, the last thing you want to do is repeat them to your neighbors, who want to know about your major/dating life/work...etc. Stop being so obsessed with me.

8. "Getting free wi-fi like a dope ass hoe... The password starts with seventeen O's."

Accurate. At least I don't have to deal with the sorry excuse for internet my school likes to call "Bronco Wi-Fi." I'll take a 30-letter password any day.

9. "She puts out these bowls for me... And any bowl I like I get fo' free."

While at college, I forgot how nice it was to pass through the house and dig my hand into an M&M or nut bowl for a quick snack. So many bowls! Why can't college have bowls of snacks laying out everywhere, too?


So, enjoy your time of being a back home baller. Appreciate your parents for being your personal valet, chef, and maid before you have to go back to college and do things for yourself.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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