What It's Like To Be Gay And Single In The 21st Century

What It's Like To Be Gay And Single In The 21st Century

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There’s a joke about gay dating that encapsulates the difference between how men and women approach romance. It goes like this: What do lesbians bring on a second date? A U-Haul. What do gay men bring on a second date — What second date.

In the difficult journey that is the search for a boyfriend, it’s generally easier to find a man who wants to be tied up, and humiliated for sexual pleasure than it is to find someone to cook at home with and watch “Scandal” together. As gay men, we have a surplus of opportunities to fulfill our sexual urges in a variety of new and exciting ways, making the thought of settling for one person hardly enticing for many in the community.

But should you wish to trade meaningless sex for his and his towel sets, actually finding someone who wants the same comes with more obstacles than Lindsay Lohan’s path to sobriety.

First, there is the claustrophobically small dating pool. Let’s begin with the fact that only 5% of the population is gay (or at least will admit to it). Half of them aren’t thinking past their next hookup, half of that won’t be sexually compatible, and maybe a tenth of what’s left are people you wouldn’t mind getting to know over coffee. That leaves approximately seven people in your city as potential mates.

Now the question is how to find these seven gentlemen suitors. Likely your friends don’t have anyone for you or you wouldn’t be single. There is the chance that you could meet someone at work, and this is probably still the best and most organic way to meet.

That leaves two main options: meeting someone at a bar or online. Personally, I’ve been going out to gay bars since I was 18 and I’ve never met anyone in that setting that wasn’t more than a hookup. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but more likely you’re on some combination of Grindr, OKCupid, and my new favorite, Tinder.

At first blush, you might think you’ve discovered the island of lost men – so this is where they keep all the handsome single guys. But soon one discovers this is really the disenchanted forest of beasts. Because gay men have been finding hookup buddies online since the internet was invented via chatrooms and Craigslist, there is a prevailing stigma against taking anyone seriously encountered in the virtual world.

This means that even when you think you’ve find the perfect guy – you both like Beyonce, Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Karaoke Singing – there is a slim possibility that it will ever go further than a swipe to the right.

Welcome to the world of online dating, which I’m told is just as awful for straight people as it is for gays. On these virtual meeting grounds, we’re judged to varying degrees on superficial criteria. The picture(s) you choose to represent yourself, a brief blurb with Shakespearean copy such as “Masc4Masc,” “No Asians,” and “No Fat or Femme”.

Among many gay men, “hung?”, “looking?”, and “bottom?” are all considered charming conversation starters with a complete stranger. These apps are a microcosm of the demoralizing experience that is men dating men.

In real life, most gay men are just as superficial as their online personality. We’re a minority obsessed with subset categorizations: top/bottom/bear/otter/twink/jock/daddy/platypus (I made only the last one up). Granted, everyone straight or gay has a “type,” but finding a normal guy who is not predominately defined by his sexuality is the most rare of all.

So let’s say against the odds you find someone that tickles your Tinder, you arrange for that momentous first date, and they actually show up instead of standing you up an hour before. Within the first 0.5 seconds of seeing the person, you’ll each know whether there exists the remotest possibility of this going anywhere. If there so happens to be that mutual magic spark, the journey has only just begun. Will they kiss you at the end of the night? Will they call again? Who should call? An agonizing devotion of self-doubt prevails.

One would think dating between two men should be, for lack of a better phrase, straight-forward. There are no gender barriers that confuse conversation, no destabilizing monthly hormonal mood swings, or disagreement when one person wants to watch “Looking” on HBO and the other ESPN, just two guys who probably both want to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. But there are also no rules, no applicable dating wisdom passed down from parents. Instead, we’re alone in traversing a wild, and sometime treacherous terrain filled with bears, pigs, otters, and silver foxes. Oh my….

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9 Eligible Princes You Need To Know About Now That Prince Harry Is Off The Market

You too could have a Meghan Markle fairytale
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Prince Harry's royal wedding is officially over and there won't be another British royal wedding for quite some time now, as Prince George is way too young to start thinking about that. Fortunately, there are plenty of other countries with plenty of other princes that are still eligible bachelors at the moment. Lucky for you, I did my research and compiled a list of all the eligible princes you need to know about know that Prince Harry has tied the knot with Meghan Markle.

1. Prince Louis of Luxembourg (31)

Prince Louis is the third son of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg. He has recently become a bachelor again after his separation with his wife of 10 years, Princess Tessy.

Fun Fact: He graduated from Richmond, The American International University of London with a BA in Communications. He can also speak Luxembourgish (the fact that's even a language is fun fact by itself), French, German, and English fluently.

2. Prince Sebastien of Luxembourg (26)

Prince Sebastien is the youngest child of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg, so if you marry him, you'll probably never actually be queen because he's pretty far removed from the throne. However, he's relatively young and single, so best of luck.

Fun Fact: For some bizarre reason, this prince actually went to college in Ohio. He played rugby and graduated from Franciscan University of Steubenville in 2015. Now, he is back in his home country and is an officer in the Luxembourg Army.

3. Prince Phillipos of Greece and Denmark (34)

You read that correctly, Prince Phillipos is the prince of not one, but two countries. He is the youngest son of King Constantine and Queen Anne Marie of Greece and Denmark. Unfortunately, Greece abolished their monarchy, so he's a prince in name only there.

Fun Fact: Like Prince Sebastien, Prince Phillipos also went to college in the United States. He earned his B.A. in foreign relations from Georgetown University in 2008. Fortunately, for us American girls, he is actually still living in the US and he works in New York City as an analyst at Ortelius Capital.

4. Prince Albert of Thurn and Taxis (34)

Ever heard of Thurn and Taxis? No? Me neither. Anyways, Prince Albert is from the House of Thurn and Taxis, which is essentially a very old German aristocratic family. He is the son of Prince Johannes XI of Thurn and Taxis and Countess Gloria of Schonburg Glauchau. His family is well known for their breweries and castles, so unless you're gluten-free, you can't really complain.

Fun Fact: He's not just a prince. He's also a racecar driver and 10 years ago he was ranked 11th on Forbes Magazine's List of The 20 Hottest Young Royals.

5. Prince Mateen of Brunei (26)

Prince Mateen is basically like all the guys you already know, except he's royalty. He's the prince of Brunei, which is a small country on the island of Borneo, south of Vietnam. He is one of the five sons of Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah, and he also has seven sisters. Maybe that's a little different than the guys you know, but one thing he takes very seriously, just like most frat guys, is his Instagram.

Fun Fact: Mateen enjoys playing polo, flying in his private plane, cuddling cute wild animals, and keeping up his Insta game with 890k followers. You can follow him @tmski.

6. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum of Dubai (35)

Sheikh Hamdan also has a killer Instagram with 6.3 million followers. Anyways, Sheikh Hamdan is the billionaire crown prince of Dubai and the second son of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, who is the prime minister of the United Arab Emirates and essentially the king of Dubai (Emir). He's actually next in line for the throne because his older brother died in 2015.

Fun Fact: Hamdan's hobbies include skydiving, zip lining, and diving, just to name a few, so if you're an adrenaline junkie, Sheikh Hamdan is the prince for you.

7. Prince Hussein of Jordan (23)

Prince Hussain is the son of the extremely beautiful, Queen Rania and Abdullah II of Jordan and next in line for the Jordanian throne. At 23, he's already a second lieutenant in the Jordanian Armed Forces and he was the youngest person ever to chair a UN Security Council Meeting


Fun Fact: Like Prince Phillippos, Prince Hussain also graduated from Georgetown University in Washington D.C.. Also, like Prince Mateen and Prince Hamdan, he's Insta famous with 1.3 million followers and you can follow him @alhusseinjo.

8. Prince Constantine-Alexios of Greece and Denmark (19)

Like Prince Phillipos, Prince Constantine-Alexios also has two countries. Lucky for us though, he is also living in the US right now attending Georgetown University in Washington D.C. (like pretty much every other prince, amirite?) He is the oldest son of Crown Princess Marie-Chantal and Crown Prince Pavlos of Greece.

Fun Fact: He's Prince William's godson, so that's pretty neat. However, if that wasn't cool enough, you might like to know that this Greek/Danish prince was actually born in New York. Oh yeah, you can also follow him on Instagram @alexiosgreece where he has 88.7k followers.

9. Prince Joachim of Belgium (26)

Prince Joachim of Belgium, Archduke of Austria-Este is the third child of Lorenz, Archduke of Austria-Este and Princess Astrid of Belgium. Although he bears the title, "Prince of Belgium," he is also Archduke of Austria-Este, Prince Royal of Hungary and Bohemia, and Prince of Modena. Unfortunately, he'll probably never actually be king in any of these countries as he is ninth in line to the Belgian throne.

Fun Fact: Prince Joachim has degrees in economics, management, and finance, but he decided to join the Nautical School in Brugge after completing college and is currently an officer in the Belgian Navy.

Hope is not lost for all you girls dreaming of finding a Prince Charming that's literally a prince. After reviewing the data, my best advice is to transfer to Georgetown where princes are basically around every corner.

Cover Image Credit: @meghantheduchessofsussexstyle/Instagram

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30 Songs That Will Make Any Former Drama Kid Immediately Break Out Into Song

Not only do they sing it but they hit the notes correctly.

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Everyone has that song (or a few) where when they hear it they absolutely have to scream it at the top of their lungs. Or maybe they just sing it. But drama kids take it to that next level. Not only do they sing it, but they have to sing the notes correctly and do the dance moves to the song. And they have to assign every person in the song to a different person

  1. "Cell Block Tango" from "Chicago”
  2. "You Can't Stop the Beat" from "Hairspray"
  3. "Summer Night" from "Grease"
  4. "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" from "Dreamgirls"
  5. "We're All in This Together" from "High School Musical"
  6. "Seasons of Love" from "Rent"
  7. "Defying Gravity" from "Wicked"
  8. "I Dreamed A Dream" from "Les Miserables"
  9. "Time Warp" from "The Rocky Horror Show"
  10. "This Is Me" from "The Greatest Showman"
  11. "On The Steps Of The Palace" from "Into the Woods"
  12. "I Feel Pretty" from "West Side Story"
  13. "The Phantom of the Opera" from "The Phantom of the Opera"
  14. "Good Morning" from "Singin' In The Rain"
  15. "A Whole New World" from "Aladdin"
  16. "Do You Hear the People Sing" from "Les Miserables"
  17. "Dancing With Queen" from "Mamma Mia"
  18. "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from "Mulan"
  19. "Belle" from "Beauty and the Beast"
  20. Beauty and the Beast" from "Beauty and the Beast"
  21. "How Far I'll Go" from "Moana"
  22. "I Won't Say I'm In Love" from "Hercules"
  23. "Popular" from "Wicked"
  24. "What I Did For Love" from "A Chorus Line"
  25. "You Will Be Found" from "Dear Evan Hansen"
  26. "Do Re Mi" from "The Sound of Music"
  27. "Revenge Party" from "Mean Girls"
  28. "I'd Rather Be Me" from "Mean Girls"
  29. "Big Fun" from "Heathers"
  30. All of Hamilton
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