The entirety of my life, I always dreamed of "college," a mysterious word with an empty connotation that I had no visual representation of. My father attended college for a semester, and my mother went to the military for two years. I was, without a doubt, drawn to higher education for a multitude of reasons.
My parents struggled financially for as long as I can remember. Whenever bills were hard to pay, food was scarce or things just weren't working, they would look at me and say "Please, Shanny. Please go to college and get a good degree." They had nothing to fall back on, and a lot of jobs that they sought were usually taken by people with degrees. This made it hard on me, for I knew I did not want this life forever.
Going through the college application process was a difficult one. Everything was confusing, because my parents were just as fresh to WVU as I was. I don't blame them for not knowing (they had no way to) but it was incredibly frustrating seeing others float through as if it were nothing. The FAFSA was a difficult task, as well as trying to figure out the amount of loans I should take out, and where to go to ask questions.
The pressure was real, and it still is to this day as a college freshman. I knew that I was held up to a higher standard not only by my family, but by myself; success is not an option, and never was.
Seeing my parents struggle inspired me to pursue college with an open mindset, and a personal philosophy: this is my future that is entirely up to me. No one is to blame for failure except for myself at this point. I accepted this walking into college at the beginning of the semester, and still do.
The thing about being a first generation college student is that we take responsibility to a whole other level. Everything we do, we know we are accountable for. Every breath, every step and every moment is entirely up to us. The decisions we make are ones that matter, for we have nothing to fall back on. We are trailblazers that can only light the fire once.
Being a first generation college student means a lot of things. It means a higher rate of failure. It means a sense of loneliness. It means a certain disadvantage that a lot of people may overlook. It also means there is room to become successful. It means you can maintain an identity that is different from your family dynamic. It means you can believe that although you have a lot of things working against you, you can overcome them as long as you stay adamant.
