Being Fat

Being Fat

What it's like to be the big friend.

In the last year or so, I have longed for a boyfriend. I feel ready now more than ever, but still, not a single fish has taken the bait. Due to this lack of attention, I have begun questioning who I am.

The first answer that comes to mind is that I am fat. It’s true, I am a larger woman. I know that I have a habit of picking icecream over brussels sprouts. I am fully aware of what I look like. However, this further look into who I am has led me to some highly disappointing observations. In order to explain this, I would like to start with a story.

Last summer, I ventured to Panama City Beach with my best friend. I mean, I am not going to lie, she is a toothpick. Meanwhile, I am probably the whole tree trunk. (This is a lighthearted joke, please laugh). After soaking up some much needed sun, she had the idea of using a plethora of hashtags on her bikini picture when she posted it on Instagram. She was hoping somebody else in PCB would hit us up to hang out that night. Man have I ever seen so many fish going after the same bait and hook.

Upon meeting this new boy (this word was used purposefully), I introduced myself although, I knew he was there for my friend. He returned my words with a semi-smile. As the night began, I did most of the talking because I am usually the outgoing joker of the group. Every single time I said a word, he did not acknowledge me. Suddenly, I realized that my presence was not welcomed. I began to trail back a bit (as I normally do when I feel uncomfortable) and neither of them noticed I wasn’t there for a few minutes.

Let’s tell two stories for the heck of it.

A few weeks after the first story, the same friend and I had walked into Dunkin Donuts to get some coffee. When we walked in, a guy working said “here comes my two best friends”, which apparently just went with whatever he and a co-worker were talking about. I began to play along until he completely shut me out. All of a sudden, my friend was the showcase of the room as the guys all vowed for her attention.

I don’t tell these stories for pity. I tell them to make a point. In this world, unless you are a gorgeous model, you are only looked at for one thing: sex. And when you aren’t putting that on the table, you are completely useless unless you are smart and someone needs your help in class.

Sometimes, things aren’t as harsh as I described above. I must really be in a real life example type of mood because here comes story number three.

One of my best guy friends, I will admit, is pretty attractive. All of the ladies go after him. I actually met him through another friend, so before we actually met in person, we texted and snapchatted. He liked me and I him. Then, the day we met in person, his opinion changed. He said “I am a great person, but he doesn’t like me like that.” Hmm, what a big surprise. Months went by without seeing one another since I was away at college, and one day, he had snapped me. He seemed to be hardcore flirting, and then randomly asked me if I had been working out yet. Nope. Nada. I never mentioned that I would be working out. I assume (and maybe I am wrong) that he was hoping the chunk had left the building. I am sorry, my friend, but he is still here. Of course, all has been forgiven and whatnot, so no, I am not friends with a complete jerk. (Only a half one…. just kidding).

I do understand that every man is attracted to different features in a woman. I get that. I know that some want a fit woman and it is at the top of the list. I also know that looks shouldn’t be the only priority. The fact that some guys only don’t want to date me for that very reason sickens me so much. Sure, I can have a good heart, funny jokes, drive, personality, a grounded nature, a relationship with God, and so much more, but uh oh, I also have fat so now that is a no deal! Darn, I was so close!

I know that I could eat healthier and workout more, but I want to do these things on my terms. I want to be happy with myself. I feel that happiness until I constantly get rejected for not being skinny enough to go on a magazine. I shouldn’t have to change myself to fit into the world. That isn’t happening.

I found this quote on Pinterest recently, and it seriously breaks my heart. I almost find it hard to post because it shows the confidence I lack due to the problems I have faced in the past for being fat.

“I wonder what it’s like to wake up and love yourself, to look in the mirror and not want to cry, to weigh yourself, see the number, and not want to puke, to be with friends and not feel ugly, to go into public and not be insecure, to go shopping for clothes and not feel fat, I just wonder what it’s like to love your life.”

This is only my story, but I am not the only one struggling with acceptance because our bodies look different than others.

For anyone out there struggling today with their weight, remember how beautiful you are. Someday, someone will sweep you off your feet for the right reasons. Don't change who you are to get the attention of someone who won't appreciate the real you. It starts with loving yourself and being okay with the beautiful person that you are.

Cover Image Credit: Demi Agresta

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.


To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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The Football World Loses One Of Its Finest Players

Bart Starr passed away and NFL players, coaches, and fans all mourn the loss of the Packer legend, but his life and career will live on in hearts of Packer nation forever.


Bart Starr passed away at the age of 85 in Birmingham, Alabama. The NFL lost a great player. The Green Bay Packers lost a hero. And, the world lost a true gentleman. Starr's legacy has surpassed his accomplishments on the gridiron. He inspired not only his peers but the generations that have come after him. He is — and always — will be remembered as a Hall of Famer, a champion, and a Packer.

Bart Starr was a Packers legend. Starr led Green Bay to six division titles and five world championships. As the quarterback of Vince Lombardi's offense, he kept the machine going and executed the plays like no other. His mastery of the position was a large part of the Packers success in the 1960s. Starr was also the perfect teammate for the perfect team. His leadership put him in command of the Packers. Starr's time in Green Bay will not be forgotten by former players, coaches, and the fans.

Bart Starr's resume is rivaled by few in NFL history. He played in 10 postseason games and won 9 of them. He led the Packers to victory in Super Bowls I and II and won the MVP award in both games. He was the MVP of the league in 1966 and was named to the NFL All-Decade Team of the 1960s. The Packers retired his number 15 and Starr has been inducted into the Packers and Pro Football Hall of Fame.

After his playing days, Starr would become the head coach of the Packers. He could not repeat the success he had on the field from the 1960s teams. His coaching years do not take away from his legacy as one of the all-time great Packers. Starr was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1977.

One of Starr's last visits to Lambeau field was on a cold November night in 2015. Starr and his wife attended a ceremony in which the Packers retired Brett Favre's jersey number. Starr was the perfect personification of what it meant to be a Packer. His most heroic moment came in the 1967 NFL Championship Game. The Ice Bowl came down to a third and goal in Lambeau Field's south endzone against the Dallas Cowboys. Starr came to the sidelines and bravely told Vince Lombardi that he can sneak it in for a game-winning touchdown. Lombardi then replied, "Run it, and let's get the hell out of here." Starr ran a quarterback sneak for the game-winner and the Packers were off to Super Bowl II. Without Starr, Green Bay would not have won a second straight Super Bowl. His leadership in big game moments will live with Packers fans for a lifetime.

Vince Lombardi: A Football Life - The Ice Bowl

Starr leaves behind his wife Cherry, his son, and three granddaughters. Packers fans will have a tight grip on the memories Bart Starr and the 60s teams created. Starr left behind a template for being a Green Bay Packer. He also left a template for being a good man and a gentleman of the game of football. He was a competitor and a leader. Packer nation mourns for the loss of one of the finest human beings the game has seen.

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