Being Fat

Being Fat

What it's like to be the big friend.

In the last year or so, I have longed for a boyfriend. I feel ready now more than ever, but still, not a single fish has taken the bait. Due to this lack of attention, I have begun questioning who I am.

The first answer that comes to mind is that I am fat. It’s true, I am a larger woman. I know that I have a habit of picking icecream over brussels sprouts. I am fully aware of what I look like. However, this further look into who I am has led me to some highly disappointing observations. In order to explain this, I would like to start with a story.

Last summer, I ventured to Panama City Beach with my best friend. I mean, I am not going to lie, she is a toothpick. Meanwhile, I am probably the whole tree trunk. (This is a lighthearted joke, please laugh). After soaking up some much needed sun, she had the idea of using a plethora of hashtags on her bikini picture when she posted it on Instagram. She was hoping somebody else in PCB would hit us up to hang out that night. Man have I ever seen so many fish going after the same bait and hook.

Upon meeting this new boy (this word was used purposefully), I introduced myself although, I knew he was there for my friend. He returned my words with a semi-smile. As the night began, I did most of the talking because I am usually the outgoing joker of the group. Every single time I said a word, he did not acknowledge me. Suddenly, I realized that my presence was not welcomed. I began to trail back a bit (as I normally do when I feel uncomfortable) and neither of them noticed I wasn’t there for a few minutes.

Let’s tell two stories for the heck of it.

A few weeks after the first story, the same friend and I had walked into Dunkin Donuts to get some coffee. When we walked in, a guy working said “here comes my two best friends”, which apparently just went with whatever he and a co-worker were talking about. I began to play along until he completely shut me out. All of a sudden, my friend was the showcase of the room as the guys all vowed for her attention.

I don’t tell these stories for pity. I tell them to make a point. In this world, unless you are a gorgeous model, you are only looked at for one thing: sex. And when you aren’t putting that on the table, you are completely useless unless you are smart and someone needs your help in class.

Sometimes, things aren’t as harsh as I described above. I must really be in a real life example type of mood because here comes story number three.

One of my best guy friends, I will admit, is pretty attractive. All of the ladies go after him. I actually met him through another friend, so before we actually met in person, we texted and snapchatted. He liked me and I him. Then, the day we met in person, his opinion changed. He said “I am a great person, but he doesn’t like me like that.” Hmm, what a big surprise. Months went by without seeing one another since I was away at college, and one day, he had snapped me. He seemed to be hardcore flirting, and then randomly asked me if I had been working out yet. Nope. Nada. I never mentioned that I would be working out. I assume (and maybe I am wrong) that he was hoping the chunk had left the building. I am sorry, my friend, but he is still here. Of course, all has been forgiven and whatnot, so no, I am not friends with a complete jerk. (Only a half one…. just kidding).

I do understand that every man is attracted to different features in a woman. I get that. I know that some want a fit woman and it is at the top of the list. I also know that looks shouldn’t be the only priority. The fact that some guys only don’t want to date me for that very reason sickens me so much. Sure, I can have a good heart, funny jokes, drive, personality, a grounded nature, a relationship with God, and so much more, but uh oh, I also have fat so now that is a no deal! Darn, I was so close!

I know that I could eat healthier and workout more, but I want to do these things on my terms. I want to be happy with myself. I feel that happiness until I constantly get rejected for not being skinny enough to go on a magazine. I shouldn’t have to change myself to fit into the world. That isn’t happening.

I found this quote on Pinterest recently, and it seriously breaks my heart. I almost find it hard to post because it shows the confidence I lack due to the problems I have faced in the past for being fat.

“I wonder what it’s like to wake up and love yourself, to look in the mirror and not want to cry, to weigh yourself, see the number, and not want to puke, to be with friends and not feel ugly, to go into public and not be insecure, to go shopping for clothes and not feel fat, I just wonder what it’s like to love your life.”

This is only my story, but I am not the only one struggling with acceptance because our bodies look different than others.

For anyone out there struggling today with their weight, remember how beautiful you are. Someday, someone will sweep you off your feet for the right reasons. Don't change who you are to get the attention of someone who won't appreciate the real you. It starts with loving yourself and being okay with the beautiful person that you are.

Cover Image Credit: Demi Agresta

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To The Senior Graduating High School In A Month

"What feels like the end, is often the beginning."

It wasn’t too long ago that I was in your shoes. Just a little over a year ago, I was the senior that had a month left. One month left in the hometown that I grew up in. One month left with the friends that I didn’t want to leave. One month left in the place that I had called “my school” for the past four years. You are probably thinking the same things I thought whenever it came down to only 30 days left. You’re probably scared, nervous, worried, or anxious. Maybe you’re like me and are dying to get out of high school, ready to start a new chapter. Or maybe you aren’t so ready yet. Maybe you’re wishing for a little more time.

As scary as it is, this month you have left will fly by. You’ll blink and you’ll be standing in your cap and gown, waiting for your name to be called to receive your diploma. You’ll look back on your last four years at your school and wonder why time went by so fast. It’ll be bittersweet. However, trust me when I say that you have so much to look forward to. You are about to begin taking the steps to build your future. You are going to grow and learn so much more than any high school class could teach you. You are going to meet amazing people and accomplish amazing things. So, as scared as you might be, I encourage you to take that first step out of your comfort zone and face this world head on. Chase your dreams and work towards your goals. You are smart. You are brave. You are capable of achieving amazing things. All your life, the lessons you have learned have prepared you for this point in your life. You are more than ready.

There are times when you will feel alone, scared, or confused. There are times when it won’t always be easy. But those are the times when you will shine the most because I know you will work through whatever problems you may face. Don’t think of the bad times as a terrible thing. Use them all as learning experiences. As author Joshua Marine once said, “Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”

You might think that this is the end. However, it’s not. This is only the beginning. Trust me when I say that the adventures and opportunities you are about to face are nothing compared to high school. Whether you are going to college, going to work, or something else, this is the beginning of your journey called life. It will be exciting, it will be terrifying, but it will all be worth it.

So, as you walk out of your high school for the very last time, I encourage you to take a deep breath. Relax. You’ll always have the memories to look back on from high school. But your time is now, it begins today. Embrace it.

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A Beginner's Guide to Milwaukee Sports

Part I: The Bucks


Being a college student in Milwaukee has its perks, especially for sports fans. Now, while some may have brought their hometown teams to college, others (myself included) may have warmed up to the Cream City teams without knowing much about them. If this is the case for you, then these pointers can help you start enjoying Milwaukee basketball without looking and sounding like a bandwagon fan.

Quick History

Here are some facts about the Bucks that can make you feel more knowledgeable about the franchise:

- They have only won one championship (back in 1971) and have lost one NBA Finals series (1974) (Land of Basketball)

- They have only had one* MVP-caliber player in Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (#33) during the 1971, 1972, and 1974 seasons (Land of Basketball)

- Other Notable Players Include: Oscar Robertson (#1), Sidney Moncrief (#4), Jon McGlocklin (#14) and Ray Allen (#34) (Land of Basketball)

*Giannis Antetokounmpo may win the MVP award this year


Gear Up

This one is a bit of a no-brainer. Wearing team's colors or spirit wear is a must, especially if you're going to a game. Most items like hats and t-shirts are perfectly acceptable, and these are great if you're not trying to break the bank. Buying your gear from a sporting goods store will usually be cheaper than buying them from the team store (the main one of which is located in Fiserv Forum). Most online stores like, Fanatics, Fansedge, and sometimes even the team's online store will have sales on sports gear, so getting a good deal on team wear is always a plus!

A Word of Caution: Jerseys

All three of these players are not part of the 2018-2019 roster and #77 and #3 have been reused by current players Ersan Ilyasova (#77) and George Hill (#3)

If you're willing to go the extra mile, buying a jersey can really get you into locked in and pumped for the live action. However, it should be kept in mind that official Nike NBA jerseys range from $110-$250, so they definitely are an investment. While there are other options available like the FastBreak jerseys by Fanatics, they are a simpler (still official) knockoff of the Nike jerseys. Also; beware buying sale jerseys. There are usually three reasons why jerseys are ever on sale (aside from a storewide sale): a player is injured, a player doesn't play much and is about to be traded, or a player has been traded. While there is nothing wrong with having the jersey of a player who went on to another team (like Kareem and Allen), you are not exactly going to get brownie points for wearing a Jabari Parker or a Thon Maker jersey anytime soon.

Know The Current Squad

Fiserv Forum, Home of the Milwaukee Bucks

Everyone in Milwaukee has heard of Giannis Antetokounmpo, but who else is part of the supporting cast?

Starting Five for the 2018-2019 Milwaukee Bucks (Basketball Reference):

- #6 Eric Bledsoe at Point Guard

- #13 Malcolm "The President" Brogdon at Shooting Guard

- #22 Khris "Money" Middleton at Small Forward

- #34 Giannis "The Greek Freak" Antetokounmpo at Power Forward

- #11 Brook "Splash Mountain" Lopez at Center

Student Perk

Using your university email, you can get special discount ticket offers for home games by signing up for the Bucks' Student Rush Program. Tickets usually start at $15 per ticket, and the seats available may depend on who the Bucks are playing (and how well they are doing during the season).

Get Involved and Have Fun!

Mascot Crawl GIF by NBA - Find & Share on GIPHY Giphy

Don't be afraid to get into it! The Bucks are an amazing team to watch and they love Bucks Nation. In addition to cheering at games, going to team events and player appearances can be great ways to make memories and even get an autograph or two!

Are You a Bucks Fan Now?🦌

I think Giannis would agree!

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