“Don’t care about what other people think and do what makes you happy.”

This short philosophy is such commonplace in our culture that we hardly bat an eye to it. It is cheap, trite, and right, of course. Even I, at one point, subscribed to this view.

But is it really? Yes, “doing what makes you happy” is seemingly ideal, perfect, even. You’re happy. That’s all that matters, right?

And yet, when I look back on the people I knew, friends that I trusted, I realized just how destructive such a view can be.

Not caring what other people think and doing what you want is, in short, being selfish. When your sole goal is to have things your way, you will more than likely attempt to do whatever it takes for you to get what you want. You will engage in immense outpourings of self-love and care, you can even go so far as to cutting people off in order to further yourself.

I totally believe and agree that if there are toxic people in your life, then yes, you do not need them and you should not surround yourself with them. But, when there are people who actually care about you, people who want to help you, people who are willing to sacrifice for you, people who have invested so much of their time in you, and you decide to leave them behind because they are “holding you back,” I don’t think that you realize just how much of a loss you are incurring.

Sure, it's easy to justify and rationalize, but the moment someone fails to recognize the other person's feelings, once they put that out of their mind, once they tell themselves, "oh, they'll be fine," do they become more bold, brazen, and rash about their decisions.

And speaking as a person who has been on that end, I can tell you that it hurts. It’s a heart-wrenching, excruciating pain to watch the person that you have loved and deeply cared for turn on you, dismiss you, forget about you, and attempt to wipe you from their life.

Weigh your options, take time to truly make a decision. Be careful. Relationships and people are messy, so if you are going to do something that you know will hurt someone, it is your responsibility to minimize the amount of damage that you are going to cause. It is so easy to throw something away, but so incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to get it back. Ask yourself if that is worth it.