Everyone can be condescending at times. It's a human emotion that is hard to avoid completely, though many aren't actually aware that they are acting in such a way. However, there are also many people who exhibit such behavior and know that they are doing so.
To be condescending is to act in the following manner: possess an ever-present air of superiority, talk to others as if they're less-than, purposely point out a flaw in someone to make yourself seem better, or simply come off as arrogant while making the other person feel stupid.
The older I get, the more I pick up on when people are being condescending, either to each other, behind someone's back, or to me. This issue has slowly been bothering me more and more, so here is what I have to say to those out there who think this is an appropriate way to behave.
First of all, where do you get off? Do you really think you're superior to someone just because you can do XYZ better/know more about such and such? Well, you are wrong. Just because someone may not appear as "knowledgeable" as you in something doesn't make them inferior and it certainly doesn't make you superior.
On the contrary, you are making yourself inferior to them by acting in such a way.
Sometimes friends can be condescending towards each other. If you think calling out your friend for not paying attention/seeming to have their "head in the clouds" is helpful or should be taken as "just a joke," then go ahead and laugh alone. No one wants to feel insecure or shitty about themselves especially by their friends – the handful of people that a person believes they can trust in this world. In some cases, people can't help but be distracted, or maybe they just have a lot on their mind.
How about instead of treating your friend like a moron you instead ask them what's going on? What kind of friend even thinks this type of behavior is ok? Certainly not a good one...
Another act of condescension I've noticed is a prejudice against one's physical appearance. For instance, I have known people who assume that girls who wear heavy makeup and/or love to shop are airheads. This also ties into the "dumb blonde stereotype.
I'll have you know that how someone looks says absolutely NOTHING about their intelligence and personality, but your judgmental, condescending attitude sure says a lot about yours.
Probably the most infuriating example of all is when during a class, someone is struggling with the material/assignment and someone else, who feels they are the "expert," will talk over that person, call them out, or tell them that they don't know what they are talking about.
Yes, in college, I have witnessed this happen. Each class should operate as a team, not as an intellectual hierarchy. You may think you are the expert in a certain field, but that doesn't mean that the other person isn't better at something else.
Next time you want to be condescending to a classmate, here's some advice that will hopefully deflate your oversized ego: ask them how you can help; see what they are struggling with and offer to assist them. As the saying goes,"there's no 'i' in 'team.'"
Yes, this article comes from a place of aggravation, but my point regarding this issue, which seems so common these days, needs to be made. No good comes out of having a condescending attitude.
You are not helping that person feel any better by acting in such a way, and you are actually making yourself look like an all-around crappy person. Just bite your tongue the next time you want to be condescending, because honestly, nothing beneficial will come out of your mouth.
