When you’re in love, you look at that person like they reached up and put the stars in the sky. Their arms become your safety net. Your soul becomes stained with their presence. The feeling of love is an electrifying, vulnerable, earth shattering feeling. And when the person you love says they love you back…it's indescribable. Your lover saying, “I love you” is like a warm blanket covering your skin while still getting a cold rod shock your spine causing chilling goose bumps to erect all over your body. Even if the person you love is the worst person in the world, you still can only see the good in them. You believe they would never intentionally lie, hurt or cheat on you.
Finding out you were cheated on by someone you thought loved you is like being suffocated with a plastic bag. First, you feel like you can’t breathe. Then, you feel a type of pain so strong you think it may kill you. You think the world around you is going through a giant landslide and all the sediment is weighing on your heart. The power of an avalanche begins to cripple your body. On top of all the body symptoms, your mind won’t stop racing. Your mind becomes an anxious scattered wreck causing you to spin. You can suddenly envision your lover touching someone else the same way they touched you. You can hear them moan the same way they moaned for you. You wonder who was better, you or the person they cheated on you with? You can’t even listen to music to soothe you, because every damn song reminds you of your cheating lover. You start to question why you weren’t good enough for them, what you could of done differently, what the person they cheated on you with has that you don’t. The comparing never stops. The only thing you can do is wait for the open wound to scab over. But there will still always be a scar. The sad truth of it all is even after they cheat on you, a little piece of you still wants to forgive them, because you thought they were the one who put the stars in the sky that entire time.
The moral of the story is don’t cheat on people, because every person they date after you won’t have a fair chance. They will always have trust issues because of you trying to get your selfish, temporary, sexual gratification. Their 3 a.m. thoughts will eat away at them and when they do finally fall asleep, their dreams won’t allow them to escape their reality. When they take that first sip of whiskey to numb themselves from the pain you inflicted, they’re going to be thinking, “why the hell wasn’t I enough?” When the alcohol finally seeps into their veins and they forget everything but you… they’ll think, “I hate myself.” It will slowly tear them apart and just because the relationship is over doesn’t mean the pain will ever subside. Whenever your name comes up in conversation, pricks will expand in their throat, they will taste pain. And every “I love you” that they will finally say to another, will have an underlying whisper of “please don’t hurt me” at the same time. And although you may have never hurt someone on purpose, remember…karma is a bitch, and she doesn’t play nice.
