My sister and I are 4 years apart in age, with me being the older one. I am on the verge of adulthood, 19 to be exact. She’s 15, just discovering herself and finding out who she is. Sometimes it feels like we are the same age, where we can laugh and gossip about all the same things. Other times, we fight like no other and scream until we have said something that we will probably regret later. No matter how hard it gets or how mad we get at each other, being her big sister is a title I don’t take lightly.
I know being the older one makes me the role model. What I do and the choices I choose to make are things she is going to see and think it’s okay to make those choices as well. I know the clothes I wear and the way I choose to present myself impact her as well. I know she values my opinion and looks up to me to show her what is right and wrong. I believe the way we, as big sisters, choose to present ourselves to the world is what our little sisters will use a guide to their life. Knowing that, we should really think twice before we make stupid or reckless decisions.
The way we talk and what we say to our little sisters will have an impact on them and their self-esteem. Something as little as telling her that shirt looks great on her or complimenting the way she wore her hair today is so important. Don’t ever insult her. As badly as you may want to when she borrows that dress without asking again, just don’t. For you, it will be letting off steam, for her, it will hurt her in more ways than you know. Also, don’t let anything she might slip up and say hurt you. She is growing up and expresses her anger or frustration in immature ways. We were all there once.
The men we allow in our lives and how we let them treat us will directly reflect the men she will date one day. If I let a man walk all over me and make me cry every other day, she will come to believe that this type of relationship is okay. I want so much more for her than that. Wait for the man who treats you right and wants to be loved by your family, not only for your sake but for hers.
As big sisters, we need to prove to our siblings that we can handle whatever life throws at us with dignity and strength. Let her comfort you and go to her for advice when you are feeling down or unsure (it will make her feel significant in your life). But above all, let her know you love her. Let her know she is important to you. And when you feel like giving up, think of what you would want her to do if she was in your place. If you cannot find one other reason to be strong, be strong for her.
