I can’t be the only one that feels like they’re just behind in life, can I? This is something that is constantly running through my mind. Feeling like others are further ahead in life than I am and I’m just struggling along through life bumping and flumping through life. Ninety percent of the time, I really have no idea what I’m doing in life. Adulting in my mind is just winging things and hoping for the best. This constant feeling of being behind is something that I don’t like to think about too much, but when I do it’s thoughts that get pretty sad and depressing.

Knowing that I will be a senior in college and won’t be graduating makes me feel like I’m just a bad college student. It’s even worse that I just switched my major and still don’t know what I’m really doing. I see myself being in college until I’m 30 and just an obnoxious amount of thousands of dollars in debt and still no idea what I’m doing. Whenever those thoughts go through my head, I try to counter the negative thoughts with positive ones. Yes, I may not graduate in 4 years, but how many college students can honestly say that they graduate in four years without busting their backs in the process. Eventually I’ll get my academic life together, I just need to find my passion.

I also feel like I’m behind in my relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong… My relationship is pretty close to perfect. Two years, two apartments and one dog together and things couldn’t be better. But I see people that have been together for less than a year and they’re engaged or having a baby, or both. I get that every relationship is different, and I wouldn’t change mine for the world. But scrolling through Facebook and going “oh, another one of my friends is… (Engaged, pregnant, etc.) just makes me feel like I’m behind in that department. But then I realize that I wouldn’t be able to handle being pregnant or having a baby at this time. As far as the whole engagement aspect goes, we live together. We have a dog together. We’ve seen each other at our best and been there with each other through the worst. I may not be engaged, but I feel like I am. I don’t need an engagement ring to know that I want to marry my boyfriend and be with him the rest of my life.

I also feel like everyone is buying houses, either with their significant other or with someone else. And I’m over here over the moon happy that we just moved into a new apartment together. In a way this makes me feel behind, but at the same time it doesn’t. It makes me happy for others when they buy a house and it makes me want to buy one too, but I know it’s not logical. Being a full time college student, working a full time job, and then a part time job, and then trying to find time for cleaning and spending time with my family is enough for me throughout the year. You add on a new house and housework and yard work and just regular up keep just seems like way too much and makes me head spin. Would I eventually love to get a house, absolutely. But at this point in time, an apartment is perfect.

I’m just in a constant battle between feeling like I’m behind in life all the time and I compare my life to others, but then it makes me wonder if others compare their lives to mine? Because when I look at it, I do have a pretty good life. I have a guy that I absolutely love, an awesome dog, a good car, work that I love, and family that I would do anything for. Everything I have I’ve worked hard to obtain. So, I may feel like I am behind in life, but at the same time I’m content right where I am. I’ll get to where I aspire to be, it’ll just take more time.