As my senior year has recently come to a close, I find myself reflecting on many things: reflecting on myself, how I feel about graduating, my fears, my excitement, and the unknown. To say the least, there is a lot on my mind.
I could sit here and write about all the memories I’ve made, “that one time when that one person did that one funny thing,” or how both my parents and myself are emotional wrecks over graduation, but this post isn’t like that. If I’m really honest with you, my high school experience was a rough one. I did have good times and there are so many memories that I’ll look back on later and laugh about, but there were many trials that I faced that really sucked and tested my ability to see the beauty in my life.
Don’t get me wrong; now I love who I am and the finding myself throughout high school has been amazing! It’s just that as I started truly discovering myself, I found that who I am didn’t match who my environment wanted me to be.
My freshman and sophomore year of high school I went to a private Christian school, so you can probably already picture my struggle. Here I was, a young girl who was suddenly discovering the world for the first time, and reading in depth about worldly topics to develop my own opinion. However, it wasn’t long before I realized my moral compass pointed me to the left of the political spectrum while everyone else around me was taking a hard right in their political beliefs.
That was a problem simply because I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe, so when someone around me says something that I don’t agree with, they surely know it. I promise I’m not one of those people who shove their beliefs down everyone’s throat and it has to be “my way or the highway,” but I am someone who will ask questions and challenge people.
My beliefs alone put me on the edge of the social spectrum, but the fact that I would voice them as well placed me far away from my small class of 45 students. Very few wanted to associate with the girl who didn’t fit this Southern prep mold that the people of this school had come to expect.
Fortunately, I switched to a much bigger public school my junior year where I didn’t know many people, so I was given another shot at high school. Things were much better at this school, it seemed there was a more open-minded bubble over this school. Ironically, this public school was literally right across the street from that private school, yet it made all the difference.
I still encounter problems with being who I am – an open minded, left leaning young woman in the deep South who doesn’t shrink from voicing her opinion. A lot of people still get uncomfortable with how opinionated I am, especially with how confident I am in discussing my opinions. But that’s all OK because I now realize how important it is to embrace who you are. Yes, I’ve had some challenging times growing up, but I’m smart enough to know that many had it much worse and that this is all part of the journey to help us discover ourselves.
My family has this little motto that we use when talking about doing something new: Dare to suck. My sister started saying it to me when I was 14 years old and ever since then it always rings in the back of my mind. It’s an anthem to try new things and even if you absolutely suck at it, keep going.
High school can be like that, it can suck. It is a major time of self-discovery and an incredible opportunity to start finding who you are. To get the most out of it, you have to dare to suck. Try new things, meet new people, and embrace people’s diversity of beliefs. If you feel like you’re an outcast, take it from me that your time will come. Some people peak in high school, while others will have their best days ahead. I know my best days are on the horizon.
