There is something special about going out of state for college. I love when people ask me where I’m from and then give me a weird face when I answer. “You’re from there? Wow, I’ve always wanted to go there. What’s it like?” That’s my favorite question. I get a feeling of pride talking about where I am from. I get to describe how it looks and what the people are like. We compare the different kinds of words we use to call things and laugh about how ridiculous they sound from an out-of-stater’s point of view. It makes me want to take everyone I’ve met and bring them on a mini vacation so they can experience the place that made me, me.

But leaving home was hard. One day I was following my normal routine then suddenly I was standing alone in an unfamiliar place hours from where I was just a day before. And going back is never the same. All the friendships I had created dissolved. I tell my new friends about my old friends. I talk about them as if everyone around me understands how meaningful the memories I open up about are. My smile grows as I speak and I think about the great times I had with wonderful people. And then my smile is wiped away when people say things like “I wish I could meet them, they sound like great people.” because I know that even I will probably never see those people again.

The reality of going to a new state is that you are agreeing to a new life. And by no means do you have to let everyone go, but there needs to be an understanding that those back home are building their lives too. When you come back on break, your friends will be working, going to school, or even have moved themselves. I have been forced to learn to not take those things to heart. The memories we made will always be there but we are all adults now with responsibilities that we need to focus on and you will see them when you both have time. The best thing to do is focus on the life you are creating now.

I love my friends now as much as I love my friends back home. Every day is a new experience. I get to be a tourist and a resident at the same time. And there is no one to listen to but myself. For the first time in my life, I am in complete control of my own actions. No curfew, very few rules that I have to abide by and no one I have to ask before I do anything. That all sounds great at first until you stay out too late and miss homework or sleep in and are late to class. Going to college out of state was like picking me up and chucking me out of my house and into a small room where I am now an adult. I went from being someone’s confused teenager to an adult in almost only twelve hours. It hits you fast.

But the experience is rewarding. I chose the best school with great classes. My friends are like a parental voice when I need it, a push to go out and have fun and just a presence of another person when I’m feeling lonely. They are people from all over the country that I never knew existed that are now the biggest parts of me who are going through exactly what I am going through. I have the city at my fingertips with endless possibilities. And most of all, I have the motivation that could change the world little by little. There is no old influence on me. It is a completely new surrounding with brand new people and I have been given the chance to take that and make it into something big. Into whatever I want to make out of my life. I am a young, free college student looking for a place in the world.