It really wasn't the plan for me to be an only child, but it just kind of happened. I'm sure my mom would have liked to have another kid or two, but here my parents are, stuck with me. Maybe I shouldn't say "stuck" because, the minute my mom reads this, I'll hear all about it.
There are a lot of preconceived notions about only children. They are spoiled brats, they get whatever they want, they are freaks, quiet freaks, loners. I could go on, but I won't because all of those notions make me cringe. I'm not going to say that I am none of those things, but I am going to give you the dirtiest look if you call me any of the above. People find out I'm an only child and I get that look I'm all too familiar with. They raise their eyebrows and say "oh, really, that must be nice." Actually, yeah, it is pretty nice. Sometimes I wonder how I ended up with this life. People immediately jump to conclusions that I'm a selfish, spoiled only child. For any of you reading this that know me personally, know that I am none of those things.
Yes, as a child I was spoiled to the high degree and in addition to being an only child, I was an only grandchild on my mother's side for twenty years. I usually didn't ask for much, but I would get a lot from my parents and grandparents. Great family trips, Christmas presents, the best kind of basketball shoes, and all the gear to go with them. My junior year of high school my Grandpa Jim and Grandma Alicia took me car shopping and they bought me a car that same day. But I want to make it clear that I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't whine about not having a nice car when I first got my license, and in all honesty, I hated driving.
When I was young my parents owned their own carpentry business right in our hometown. The house I have lived in for twenty or so years is the house my dad built with his own two hands. My parents have come from nothing and have become something they both love. As an only child, I believe my parents never intended to spoil me but simply wanted to give me everything they never had: a 16-year Catholic education, a nice car, a roof over my head, gas money to get from point A to point B, and parents with a sense of humor that always seems to make me laugh.
I've lived with my parents my whole life. I took one year away from home to experience dorm life, and needless to say, I moved back my sophomore year, so, pretty quickly. I'm often home every night before 7 p.m. and have dinner with them. I work on homework or read in the same room as they do, and we take trips to the "big city" to go grocery shopping or, on a rare night, out to eat. Sometimes I spend a night or two at my grandma's or at a friend's house, but it isn't the same. I'm always ready to come home. I can never explain why, but it just makes me feel better.
Unfortunately, being an only child has it's drawbacks. I've always had anxiety issues. When I was young I couldn't let my mom or grandma out of my sight. In middle school I rarely went to a sleepover and in high school I never went to any dances. Even now, I go to school, work, run errands and then I'm home. It's like clockwork for me. Many only children find solace in the mundane and in a clockwork-like schedule. It wasn't until junior year of college that I really felt okay being out past 7 p.m. I can leave on a Saturday for work and not feel the need to always have my parents around. It's hard to believe, but after graduation, I'm thinking about moving out.
The point is to not bash those people who have called me a spoiled brat throughout the years, but rather to point out that we are not all the same. Yes, you see those only children that have the world on a string thanks to their parents, but some of us are down-to-earth and ask for nothing. Some only children are ready to get out of their parents' house while others are willing to stay forever. Some are outgoing while others are seen as loners because they are quiet. But it's important to understand that not all only children are the same, so to call some of us spoiled brats is an insult not only to us but also to our parents.
I don't think there will ever be enough words to thank my parents for making me the woman I am today. But, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
