Usually the girl with the outgoing personality is the most confident one in the room right? Well, not always. Having an outgoing personality with an anxious mind is something that people would never guess. Who would have thought the center of attention would feel the most anxious in the room?
What most people don’t understand about anxiety is that it can happen anytime and anywhere for any reason.
Usually my day starts off overthinking, not for any reason specific, but just because. I constantly overthink every situation because my mind always is coming up with “What ifs”. Every plan I have, there is always my anxiety second-guessing and planning on what could possibly go wrong. No matter how many times I try to fight my anxiety, there is always the voice inside my head messing with me.
People with outgoing personalities love to be surrounded by friends and family. Having an anxious mind with anxiety, I need to be surrounded by people in order to be fully happy. I don’t trust many people in life; only those who make me forget about my anxiety and bring out happiness in me. I have many acquaintances but only trust few from anxiety. I love sharing my life with people, but before telling someone a secret or something personal, my anxiety kicks in and makes me think that the whole world is going to find out.
My anxiety has made me SO insecure. I can and will make friends with everyone. Having an outgoing personality makes me want to be friends with everyone I come across. Although, I constantly am worrying about what people think about me and feel like I’m being judged 247.
Some days I spend hours getting ready for no reason, but why? Because I want to be enough to the point where I don’t have anxiety when it comes to being good enough or not enough.
Even the smallest things run through my mind while lying in bed at night. What would happen if I didn’t say that? Did I say too much? Did I come off as being crazy for saying what I think? What if I didn’t say what I thought three months ago?
I may seem like an extrovert, but the smallest things stress me out. Whether it is finishing up a project or planning my day out, my anxiety makes me feel like I will never have enough time to complete what I need to do.
Life is just hard in general. Dating is impossible because I overthink everything and always come to the worst conclusions.
I am my own worst critic. Although I seem like an extrovert on the outside, inside I am constantly putting myself down and judging myself. My anxiety has always made me think that I am not good enough for anything.
The one thing my anxiety has made me thankful for is that I’m appreciative to those who reach out to me and constantly check on me to make sure I’m ok. Anxiety has made me more empathic to those around me because I know what it’s like to be hard on yourself. Lastly, my anxiety has made me be a better person. I might be hard on myself, but I always push and try to be the best I can be.
