“Wow, you must be really smart to be studying something as hard as engineering” is a typical response for when I tell someone I’m majoring in mechanical engineering. But in all honesty, I’m not that smart at all. I respect that people understand how difficult a study engineering is, but sometimes, it’s hard to respect their assumptions of all engineers being incredibly intelligent.
I will give it to you – there are a lot of incredibly talented and intellectual engineers out in the world, but I sure as heck am not one of them. Instead, I am a hard-working, diligent student trying my hardest to barely survive the start of what’s to be the rest of my future. I’ve always been that way, even in high school – staying up way past my bed time, working until every last thing on my to-do list was complete, studying until there was nothing left to study. That was how I got good grades. I was never the type of student to do the bare minimum and still be able to get straight A’s. No, I was and still am the type of student who does the maximum just to be average.
So when someone tells me that I “must be so smart if I’m going to be a successful engineer,” something inside me automatically questions whether or not I actually will be successful. As much as I want to become a mechanical engineer working to improve safety features in cars or working to improve the lives of patients with physical disabilities, the idea of not being able to meet society's perception of a successful engineer is enough to make me want to drop it all. Nothing in the field of engineering comes naturally to me. No concept, theory, idea, law will make sense to me if I don’t spend hours on end studying and practicing those concepts. And after all those hours of studying and practicing, the odds of me actually understanding the material are still slim to none.
And that’s scary. How am I supposed to do my job as an engineer if I’m struggling with all of these basic concepts? How am I going to pursue my dreams if all I do is question my capabilities of becoming an engineer? How am I to convince myself that all the hours and effort I put into my academics will pay off in the long run? I’ve been asking myself those questions a lot lately, but I still have no answers.
All I know is that when someone assumes that I’m as smart as a successful engineer is believed to be, I only feel more pressure to do well in school. I only feel like it's more of a necessity to spend more weekends catching up on school work and staying on track than going out with my friends. I only feel more anxiety about the state of my future. And I know that out of all the engineering students in the world -- past, present, and future-- I’m not the only one that feels this way.
As students, we already have high expectations for ourselves. Add society’s perception into the mix of the things and the expectations for us only skyrocket. We’re supposed to be the ones who invent the future through the advancement of technology. But sometimes, it’s as if they expect us all to just know how to do that – like everything we would ever need to know will just hit us one day. That’s not how it works.
Just because I’m an engineer, it doesn’t mean that I’m smart. Don’t put that extra unnecessary pressure on my back to be successful. I’m not as smart as you think I am. I’m just a normal student who’s working hard, trying to get by and attempting to keep my head above water.
