We all grow up with the assumption that we're going to meet someone, settle down and start a life with them. Some people have a timeline, others have a pact with their best friend and other people (like myself) are kind of just winging it.
I grew up in a house with an incredible marriage as an example of what to look forward to. I was also taught by a strong mother and empowering father that my worth is in no way, shape or form dependant on whether or not I'm in a relationship.
This same household taught me to follow your dreams before you follow a person because your dreams will never wake up one day and not love you anymore. These were all life lessons I took with me into high school and college, realizing that my peers who felt the need to be in relationships found their happiness in another person, and I was always intent on finding happiness on my own.
That's not to say I never dated, or fell in love--twice actually, hard crashes and some intense burning on both fronts--but I never let these relationships define me. While I definitely thought these people were my forever at the time, I always made sure that I was living my happiness, not theirs.
And while this led to a lot of arguments, and a lot of late night phone calls talking about dream jobs and what the future would look like if we spent it together, I knew that while the future we planned was incredible, I would be okay if I lived my end on my own. I'd be sad, and mopey and miss them but I would survive.
These relationships inevitably didn't work out, but I wish nothing but the best for both of those men. I hope they do find the woman that is going to live out that future with them because they have big dreams and all the tools to achieve them.
It's not easy going through a break-up, especially with the notion that someone "wins" or loses a "break up," depending on who bounces back first or sends the most sad texts late at night. But as you go through the break up you learn how to be alone.
And in being alone I have found out a lot about myself. I've learned to love myself, how to care for myself, and how to cook MY favorite foods. And while people might give me the "Oh poor girl she's perpetually single" look, what they don't realize is I'm content with this arrangement.
Being alone doesn't mean I'm lonely. It means I'm perfectly content in my own company. I do a lot of things by myself that my friends think is weird, i.e. going to the movies, going to theme parks, going out to eat alone etc. I have total control that way. I get to do what I want to do and don't have to worry about anyone else. I get to be selfish, and it won't hurt anyone else's feelings when I choose myself over them.
I'm not looking for a relationship, and I'm happy for all of my friends that have found happiness in another person. This isn't to say I don't wish I had someone to do cute stuff with, but I haven't met that person yet, and I'm not going to hunt them down when I'm perfectly content doing things either on my own or with my gal pals.
I believe there is someone out there for everyone. I believe that there is a happily ever after coming my way. I just don't think I'm in that part of my story yet. I'm perfectly content living my best life and enjoying it while I have only myself to think about.