There’s nothing pitiable about it.
If all your friends already have plans, or even if they don’t, you shouldn’t be afraid to step out into the world all by your lonesome. In fact, it should be one of your favorite things to do, whether you are an introvert, a singleton or neither. The reality is, we are only human, so we depend on the presence and closeness of other people—at least once in a while. Some of us live for this interaction. But being able to take a step away from the real world for a while and treat yourself to a slice of something delicious at a booth for one can feel so liberating, and not just because you don’t have to share the food and romantic candle light.
It may sound selfish, but I do strongly believe, as do my fellow time-with-self advocates, that it is healthy to spend time getting to know and love ourselves, just like we do with other people. Constantly concerning yourself with the people around you or being concerned about what they think, though it may sometimes a valuable attribute, can be taxing.
What’s more, in a world where everything around us changes so quickly, we are constantly pulled into the motion, forced to mold and change along with it. So no matter the walk of life, there is always something to be discovered about oneself, and if it’s just that you don’t like onions on your pizza, so be it. Maybe time with yourself is not a necessity—you’re just not into it. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be a fun once-in-a-while activity. If you don’t want to be completely alone, trees and the rest of nature can make some good company.
So I’ve made my point: Being alone is good. But why are we so scared to walk into our favorite restaurant on our own, or to watch a movie with no one to share our popcorn, or to have a picnic with ourselves and our sandwiches and no one else?
One of the most obvious reasons is simply that we don’t want anyone to see us doing this. We don’t want to risk looking like a sad lost puppy, waiting for someone to take us home. However, to remedy this, all that’s needed is a small dose of self-confidence—easier to talk about than to come by (believe me, I know). With the first step you take out of the house, you should be exuding morale and enthusiasm for yourself and the world that you are about to conquer on your own, even if you have to fake it a little the first few times.
These me-dates aren’t limited to daytime and dinnertime, though. You know all those times your friends asked you to go out with them, and you really wanted to stay in? Wanting to be alone is a good enough reason to say no, throw on a Snuggie, steep some tea, start up Netflix, and take up the entire length of the couch. If they’re really your friends, they’ll understand.
Being comfortable in solitude is a praiseworthy feature in humanoids. So take a field trip from all the busybodies to appreciate yourself. And don’t worry about those other people—they'll appreciate you too, because we may be alone, but we are not lonely.
