So America is preparing for our next President, Donald Trump.
I have cried tears, I've seen tears, I have felt anger, I've seen anger, I have felt disappointment, and seen disappointment, fear, and discouragement. We live in a democracy, we get to choose our leader. I have not lost a friend because of who they decided to vote for, they are entitled to that vote the same way I am entitled to mine. I may, however, have lost a friend because of his inability to accept his very own privilege and his insensitivity to those reacting around him.
The day after the election, I sat with one of the sweetest girls I know, who openly told me she had voted Trump. I had nothing negative to say to her or about her choice, she even helped lift my saddened spirits. My problem at this point goes beyond the fact that someone like him was capable of running for president, and winning. My problem is the way that people are refusing to validate the feelings of those who are hurt by this outcome.
Simply put - if nothing about Donald Trump's successful and victorious campaign makes you question this country, you are privileged.
Bluntly put - if you think people are "overreacting" and "whining" about election results because they are sore losers, you are the worst type of privileged person there is.
So let's talk about privilege then.
There is of course - white privilege - a privilege this country was built on.
Being unable to accept that this privilege exists whether you want it to or not is just plain ignorance.
White privilege is not having to teach your sons and daughters that they may be stereotyped based on their skin color alone.
White privilege is never having been pulled over and wondering if it was a DWB - driving while black.
White privilege is never having to be the single spot of color in a classroom or a work place.
White privilege is being able to speak with intelligence and not having it be attributed to "talking white".
White privilege is Brock Turner.
White privilege is not having to worry about laws and policies being set to provide you with equal opportunities.
White privilege is being angry that laws and policies have to be set to provide minorities with equal opportunities.
White privilege is being able to pass off racist comments as "saying something stupid" or a "bad joke".
White privilege is having twice the opportunities with half the effort.
White privilege is denying or being unable to see that you have twice the opportunities with half the effort.
White privilege is being able to live a significant amount of years before you become aware of your privilege.
White privilege is being the boss and never having people question that.
White privilege is never having to be referred to as "the black woman I spoke with" by a customer at your job.
White privilege is never being told someone isn't interested in you because you're black.
White privilege is never having to humble yourself and stay silent to authority figures openly demeaning you and insulting your intelligence.
White privilege is getting pulled over and let off with a warning rather than somehow ending up in a body bag.
White privilege is never having to question if certain treatment is because of your color.
White privilege is not having people think it's appropriate to casually ask you if your hair is real.
White privilege is not being predestined to be a criminal or a statistic before you're old enough to make your own decisions.
White privilege is truly believing that hard work and hard work alone is the reason you succeed more often than minorities.
White privilege is being able to deny the very existence of white privilege.
Black privilege is a false social concept created by those who are in denial about their own white privilege.
And then we have - male privilege - a privilege this country rests comfortably on.
Male privilege is never having to be taught how to carry yourself in order to reduce your risk of being sexually assaulted or raped.
Male privilege is never having to have awkward conversations about dress codes in school or in your work places.
Male privilege is never being warned that there are certain parts of your body that draw "negative" (sexual) attention.
Male privilege is watching women learn ways to combat rape instead of being taught to not rape.
Male privilege is Brock Turner.
Male privilege is not having to carry pepper spray when you walk alone on a college campus.
Male privilege is not having to create a fake boyfriend to help people understand you're just not interested in them.
Male privilege is never having to plant a kiss on your best friends lips at the club to make a guy back off.
Male privilege is not being insulted if you don't respond the "right way" to a compliment.
Male privilege is not being told "you look tired" if you take a day off from wearing makeup.
Male privilege is not having to fight for fair pay.
Male privilege is not having your authority questioned because of your gender.
Male privilege is not having your intelligence questioned because of your gender.
Male privilege is calling girls bitches when they don't bow down to you.
Male privilege is not being called "unladylike" for cussing like a sailor.
Male privilege is being able to tell a girl "I liked you better before you lost weight" (yes, someone said this to me after I spent four months losing 30 pounds) and seeing no issue in saying that.
Male privilege is being praised for having ridiculous amounts of sex, rather than slut shamed.
Male privilege is having a lot of sex without people thinking this means they are entitled to have sex with you, too.
Male privilege is not being questioned or criticized if you get married and want to hold on to your last name.
Male privilege is not being asked if you support Hillary Clinton because she's a woman.
Male privilege is being less likely to be blamed for your own sexual assault or rape.
And then we have - straight, non-transgender, non-bisexual, basically non-LGBTQ privilege - because this is too often overlooked.
Straight privilege is never having your masculinity questioned because of your sexual orientation.
Straight privilege is never having your femininity questioned because of your sexual orientation.
Straight privilege is not having to fear mistreatment if your place of employment learns about your relationship.
Straight privilege is not having to live in fear of being who you are.
Straight privilege is not having people question if you're "going through a phase" with your sexual preferences.
Straight privilege is not having people think you're seeking attention through your sexuality.
Straight privilege is not being afraid to tell your parents who you're dating.
Straight privilege is never having to be afraid of losing friends because of your sexual orientation.
Straight privilege is seeing the news about the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando and not taking it as a personal attack.
Straight privilege is not having boys ask you to kiss your girlfriend as if you're two animals on an exhibit at the zoo.
Straight privilege is never having to "come out".
Straight privilege is being able to donate blood.
Straight privilege is not having people stop watching shows or speak negatively of shows that represent couples who are a reflection of your lifestyle.
Straight privilege is not having to go to a different state to marry the love of your life.
Straight privilege is not having to wait until 2015 for the Supreme Court to rule in favor of your right to marriage.
Straight privilege is never having to worry that certain churches and preachers won't marry you.
Straight privilege is not having to hear your sexuality tossed around as an insult.
Straight privilege is not having to struggle through adoption processes harder than the average couple.
Straight privilege is not having a future Vice President think your sexuality is curable or punishable.
Straight privilege is not having to fear the parents of your child's friend will not allow them to remain friends when they are greeted by same-sex parents.
Straight privilege is blaming the oppression of the LGBTQ community on their own life choices.
Going to the same school, public or private, as your black friends doesn't mean you two have had the same opportunities. The fact that I drive a 2016 Impala doesn't negate all the privileges I do not have. Ask me how many obstacles my dad has had to overcome in order to be able to give me all the things he has. Being generous and kind does not grant you immunity to white privilege. Being presumed to not be as good at basketball or to run as fast as your black competitor is not equivalent to living in a country systematically built against you. Barack Obama being the President for two terms did not undo hundreds of years of racism.
Telling women they shouldn't dress or act a certain way is not a way to combat male privilege. Bringing up the fact that a rape victim drank too much is the most disgusting thing to do. We live in a country that teaches girls to manage their alcohol more than it teaches boys not to rape people. In a Presidential Election in 2016 we just watched a woman who was more qualified than her alpha-male opponent get demeaned and belittled by him, talked over by him, mocked by him (based on her sex) and still win. We watched a man brag about sexual assault and objectify women and still get elected.
We have also elected a man who doesn't respect the LGBTQ community or their rights. A man who has openly and blatantly disrespected them and a man who has no interest in helping this community push forward because he would rather set them back.
We have a new President on his way to the office this January who has people living in fear. Racists already feel more comfortable waving their confederate flags and telling minorities to pick cotton or leave this country. Women are already living in more fear as America just elected a man who encourages people to "grab them by the p*ssy". Muslim women are afraid to walk around in their hijabs. Sexual assault victims feel the bandage ripped off of a wound that will never heal.
So before you take to social media with your insensitivity, with your boasting, with your bragging - think twice. I see tweets telling people to "take this L" as if our country is a playing a game of NBA 2k16. I saw a tweet telling people to stop complaining about white privilege because we've had "black privilege" for the last 8 years under President Barack Obama.
I'm asking, begging, that people take a second to have basic human empathy. People can be sad, hurt, angry, upset, and discouraged after they've received news that devastated them. You don't get to deny them of this right. You troll social media and bash those hurting because "we just need to stand together" after we've just elected a person who spews hate. My personal lesson from this whole thing is that I need to do more, to be better, to go out of my way to try to educate and pray for those who are too small minded to understand that the upset in this country is so much deeper than the Democratic Party "not getting their way". Your inability to see your privilege, is a privilege in itself.
Ignorance is bliss, and some of y'all are the most blissful people I know right now.
Check your privilege.