**Spoiler Alert: This article will discuss the movie in depth. That being said, if you wish to see it you may want to read this post-movie going. Nonetheless, please come back to join in on the discussion!**
The other night I went on my merry way to see the long anticipated film, “Me Before You.” Let me begin by saying that I was not at all expecting to leave the theater with a myriad of ethical questions swirling around in my head. The film follows the life of the wealthy and entitled William Traynor. “Will,” as he is referred to throughout the film, has lead a life of luxury and opportunity, truly loving every moment. As a devastating turn of events culminates, Will tragically finds himself permanently paralyzed from the neck down. In steps the vivacious and amiable Louisa Clark. Miss Clark is a beautifully vibrant young woman of humble means, accustomed to not expecting much from life and working hard for the little her family does have. As their two paths converge, Miss Clark is appointed as Will’s caretaker and their subsequent love story unfolds.
The film explores Will’s disability and addresses the topic of assisted suicide. Will has given his family a six month period to try to change his mind about ending his life, but ultimately decides that because he no longer has the use of his body, he does not want to live anymore. Unfortunately, it appears that the film romanticizes the consequences of this decision, presenting Louisa as her happy-go-lucky self only weeks after Will has ended his life.
This abrupt and strangely tragic ending to the film raised many questions and made me immediately think of one of my dearest friends who has been through the process of living life with a terminally ill mother. Lexi’s mom was diagnosed with a rare and incurable disease around the time she was 12 years old. After watching this film, I wanted to get Lexi’s take on assisted suicide and why she was either for, or against it. Some of the questions that we asked in the face of this film encompass topics such as what gives one’s life meaning, how does one derive meaning from life when disabled in one way or another, and how does suicide either help or hinder the overall wellbeing of those immediately impacted by such a decision?
As we settled in to discuss the movie and her mother’s illness I began by asking Lexi what she had thought of the film. She went on to express that she had appreciated what they were trying to do with it in presenting the tragedy of having a permanent physical disability as well as expressing that she did not condone assisted suicide for a very specific set of reasons. Something she said during our conversation that especially stuck out to me was, "I don’t think you can achieve true happiness and joy unless you suffer. You can’t have a great day unless you’ve had a bad day because it would just be a normal day.” The simplicity of this statement made it clear that part of the beauty of life is discovered in seasons of suffering. Lexi’s stance on the issue made it clear that the fight with this illness had altered her life in innumerable ways, as well as those around her. She made it clear that though the process of suffering through such an illness was a tragedy, the greater tragedy would have been to end her mother’s life early because there was so much beauty that had come at the hands of suffering. Not only her mother’s, but her family’s suffering as a whole.
They learned the depths of anguish as well as the true sweetness of joy. They learned how to look at what they were blessed with, rather than what they did not have. They learned how to be still and wonder why the woman so dear to them was slowly withering away day by day. Ultimately, they learned how to love--how to really love without expecting a single thing in return. Lexi illustrated the juxtaposition of caretaker and patient by stating that both parties are humbled in one way or another, while both are simultaneously gaining something from the relationship. Her mother, though disabled in body and speech, ended up exuding a joy that impacted those around her for the better. It’s not to say that she didn’t have her bad days, but the overall memorandum seared into the minds of those who had the privilege of interacting with Eileen was one of joy found in entrusting herself to her Savior and Maker. And as Lexi so beautifully pointed out, "To be full of joy is to be full of life." So although her mother was physically disabled in every possible way, she was still vibrant and filled with life.
Though this barely scratches the surface of every nuance that goes into such an intensely personal decision, it seems that this is certainly a topic worthy of discussion. Having lived in a family scarred by suicide, I can say that though the anguish of the person considering suicide is real, the ripple effects of such an act trickle down from generation to generation. And this is where I invite you to leave your thoughts below. What say you?
