You might not have realized it right away. Maybe you described her with words such as “cautious”, “shy”, or “independent." She was a mystery because there was something in her stories that told you there were more details and she was always careful not to give too much away. She wasn’t an open book immediately and perhaps that made her seem hard to get to know, or even frustrating.
She wasn’t always like this. A person isn’t born guarded. Once upon a time, she had an open heart and wasn’t afraid of love. Then she suffered heartbreak, again, and again, in the form of betrayal, death, and little acts that broke her trust. The wall around her heart was built slowly, brick by brick, as she watched so many people walk in and out of her life. Eventually she realized she wasn’t invincible and that she would always be the one putting her own pieces back together. Loving people didn’t break her, but too many goodbyes did.
A guarded girl isn’t necessarily cold and bitter. She struggles to publicly expose her vulnerabilities and because of it, she is written off as a rigid Ice Queen. Just because she doesn’t swan dive into an open-armed hug from a stranger, or show her mascara streaked cheeks to the world around her, doesn’t make her any less sensitive. You might not see how closed off she is at first, but when you do see it, you’ll do one of two things. You’ll either do whatever it takes to be one of the lucky few who gets a piece of her heart, or you’ll decide that the fence around it is too tall and you’re afraid of heights.
She requires patience. A girl who is guarded won’t wake up one morning and decide that today will be the day she tells you every single detail about her past. It will happen in spurts. It will happen in the moments that you weren’t pushing her to open up. She has to know she can trust you, and know you won’t leave when things get tough. Just because you say all the right things doesn’t mean you can be trusted. Actions speak far louder than a good reputation and sweet nothings whispered in her ear. Don’t push her to open up simply because you know you’re a good person. Give her time, be patient, and listen to her. Really listen to her.
A guarded girl is careful, but not careless. She wants to love and be loved as much as anyone else. And when she loves you, you never have to wonder. Her loves runs deep and is full of intensity and fire. She knows the value of what she has to offer and refuses to give it to just anyone. When you finally break through the walls of a guarded girl, you may be surprised to find that the inside is not sculpted with ice. Just a big heart with many scars, bruises, and pieces sewn back together. Perhaps the best part of it all is that when she does let you in, it’s not because she feels that she needs to.
It’s because she wants to and she wants you and that just might be the most pure love out there.
