You know how realtors are always going on about "location, location, and location?" Well with sex it's all about "communication, communication, communication!" Take it from an (unofficial) pro: a lack of communication will lead to shitty sex, and shitty sex is worse than no sex.
1. Before: Establish birth control basics
If the risk of pregnancy applies to you or your partner, then y'all need to sit down and have a chat about contraceptives before going at it like rabbits, unless you're prepared for the chance of having a bunch of little bunnies hopping around. Hopefully, you're aware that some birth control methods have a higher rate of success than others, but if you're not up to date on your sex ed then please please please do your research so nobody has to rush to the store for Plan B in the midst of a global pandemic.
2. Before: Have the STD chat
Yeah, I know this is uncomfortable, but if you can't ask your partner about their previous sexual history then you two aren't ready to have sex. If there's a chance one of you has an STD, just go get it checked out! Nobody wants to take the chance of getting genital warts after having sex for the first time, so do yourself a favor and make sure all parties are clean before y'all start bumping uglies.
3. Before: Express your expectations
I don't care how much you've sexted beforehand- if you don't communicate what you're comfortable with then things are gonna get really awkward really fast. Trust me, you don't want to be the person who wasn't expecting anal and then ends up trying butt stuff in the back of your mom's minivan. Setting boundaries and establishing consent is pretty damn sexy, so don't hold back on that stuff.
4. After: "Cum" through with the truth
Yeah, pillow talk is great, but ya know what's even better? Having a damn orgasm! If you didn't get to that Big O, or it took a lot more effort than it should have, talk to your partner about how you guys can work on that. This also goes both ways, so make sure to ask your partner if they have any advice or ideas for how you can make them feel like they're on Cloud 9 next time. Pleasure is the name of the game here, folks, so don't be afraid of communicating with your S.O. about how things feel down below the belt.
5. After: Aftercare
This seems to be a highly underrated part of sex, and I think it should be talked about more. Sexy time doesn't end once your sex drive does! It's important to make sure that you and your partner are taken care of after sex, no matter how long that sex actually was. Peeing after sex is always good, and so is rehydrating, so make sure that nobody is dying of thirst or risking a UTI. Also, taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body, so make it's important to make sure all parties are feeling safe and cared for afterward the big bag is over.
Do you follow these before and after sex tips on the regular?
