One of my favorite things to say is, "Things come in threes." I also say, "Well, if you keep saying that it'll happen." So, what happens when these two sayings come together. I end up crying all the way home after I ran over a trash can, missed my train and then, to top off all of my frustration, I get a parking ticket.
On this tear-filled drive all the way back to my townhouse I was able to dredge up all past mistakes. While I thought of every mistake made in the past twenty-one years, I managed to blame it all on me and destroy myself. The reason I made *insert mistake* is because I am an *insert insult*.
I have been on this cycle as of late. I'll do fine until something rocks the boat. Once that boat is rocked I lose my cool and I start blaming myself for the waves. Yes, maybe I could have been a bit more cautious and avoided the situation. However, I go a bit too far and well it leads to me crying in my car rethinking every mistake that I can possibly think of.
It's so easy to tear yourself down with your thoughts when things don't go as you expect it. You destroy yourself because if you had only done better, then things would have gone better. Sure, planning better and being more aware is always a good thing; however, life is going to be an explosion of disaster after disaster sometimes. The most important thing is how you handle it.
However, with most cycles, you recognize the problem and then try to change. Then a little bit later something else happens that destroys you and you find yourself in a car crying about how if you had not been a *insert insult* then you would not have *insert mistake*.
Something that I realized after wave two (maybe three) of tears and tearing myself down is that I am not perfect. I do not have it together and I am going to continue to mess up. However, I have the choice to move forward or to continue to wallow in this.
I cannot live in my mistakes. If I do I am going to be stuck. Cool, you hit a trash can, missed a train, and then proceeded to get a ticket. Well, the trash can got picked up, you ended up on another train, and you paid your ticket like a boss. Now move on and grow from it. In all mistakes move on and grow from it. Don't fall back into it. Move forward, wipe those tears, and don't tear yourself down.