Becoming successful is perhaps one of the most fundamental values of both individuals and of the society which we live and interact with. It’s a goal that is instilled to us in our infancy and built upon through adulthood. But what does it mean to be successful? Does it mean driving the nicest car, having the nicest house, and earning the recognition and respect of society? Or does it mean something else entirely? Clearly, an agreeable definition must be established before one can even begin properly pursuing success.

Perhaps Alain de Botton put it best in his TED talk when he said, "we've all got this idea of what success means, but of course all it really means is just doing something well." In this sense, success seems to be defined quite clearly; where the ambiguity lies is in that one little word "something." In all reality, there are an infinite number of "somethings" that can be done well, and thus an infinite number of objective states pf success. Thus, the innately human challenge for each of us comes in determining how we will fill the ever so subjective void that the word "something" creates.

For me, the pursuit of "success" has been central to my life for the greater part of the last 6+ years. In fact, my conscious commitment towards becoming a success began on April 7th, 2010 – the day my father died. I can still remember verbally vowing to myself that I would achieve success at all costs necessary. While this is a conviction that has only grown stronger within me ever since, I have long struggled to define that "something" which will be paramount in one day judging whether my life has been a success.

Feeling a need to finally define success, I set out at the start of this summer with a mission to discover myself and what "something" it is that I want to spend my life striving towards achieving. What this journey of self-exploration has led me to discover is that for much of my life what I have defined as success and what I am beginning to feel that I want to achieve - the "something" of my life - have been in stark contrast.

As the days pass I become increasingly convinced that what I want to achieve most in life is to have had a profound and deep impact on the world around me. I want to work towards progressing the lives of both others and myself and - in doing so - gain a greater sense of connectedness, happiness, and fulfillment. While many of my accomplishments as of late – back to back dean’s list semesters, admission into the 3/2 MBA Program at Kelley, etc. etc. – have certainly put me on the right track to do just that, I have come to realize that my pursuit of these accomplishments has been for all the wrong reasons.

Rather than pursuing personal fulfillment through the motivation and conviction of my deepest desires and ambitions, I have found myself pursuing the ever so satisfying yet all so meaningless validation of others. My failures in life - whether having been denied admission to the University Notre Dame, having been cut from the Indiana University football team, having failed a class for the first time, or having performed poorly my first two years at Kelley – drove me work harder to validate myself in the eyes of those around me. I felt the world had written me off and wanted so badly to say, "look at me now."

What I’ve come to realize is that it’s not the validation of others that will define whether I am successful, but rather the validation of and by myself that is most important. While sweet, validation is like an addiction that must be constantly fed and nurture at increasingly higher levels to provide the same reward. Subsequently, I have come to realize that it has been my pursuit of success for all the wrong reasons that has put me at risk of the greatest failure imaginable - to live a life dependent on the validation of others.

So while my failures in pursuing success have made it so I am no closer to attaining true success than I was before, I can at least sleep easy knowing what “something” it is that I want to achieve. And in the words of T.S. Elliot: "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”