At the moment, I am in season 3 on Gossip Girl. What a classic show. But one cannot help notice the power dynamics in the show. There is always a "Queen Bee" at the school and her followers do her bidding. While this not how real life relationships work and it is all for TV, there are followers and leaders in real life. After a little self-reflection, I have realized my whole life I have been a follower. Now as a young woman, I want to change this and become a leader and a good role model for others. If you are in the same position as me and you want to make a positive change in your life, read on.
So why do I and so many others chose to be followers? In my experience, I think it had a lot to do with wanting people to like me. I think there should have been looking for acceptance was inside myself. I learning that now and it is okay if you are too. Also, I wouldn't say it is an easy job to be a follower, it involves a lot of people pleasing and sacrificing your wants and needs for compromise with others. While in the short term this can work just fine, it can lead to not truly knowing who are as a person because you are going around trying to please everyone else. Another thing I was prone to doing was not being able to put my feelings and opinions out there due to fear and rejection. Yes, it is scary, but what I tell myself now is that "Fazzini you have this one life to live, do you want to live it in fear of people not liking you?" Fack that! I encourage you to tell yourself the same thing. Always say what you mean and mean what you say.
Do not fear others. People will be different from you and you must accept that. You do not have to be scared of them. Learn from them. Recognize their strengths but do not forget yours. One of my favorite people ever Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." People only have power over you if you let them have it. Know yourself and know your worth.
Confidence is key. Even if you do not have confidence, remember you always have the opportunity to grow. Life is about creating yourself. Go forth, don't be afraid to make mistakes. It will happen and you will learn. It takes practice. You can't be amazing at something on your first try. A mistake I have been making since I was a young seed. Try your best with the task that is in front of you. If you try your best and you are committed to the activity you are working on, you will be fulfilled and will know that you have done a good job. This will also help your confidence. I know when I have been my heart into it, I feel some confidence right there. Being a leader means being confident in what you say and knowing when you have made mistakes.
Switching from being a follower to a leader will not happen overnight. But if you practice self-love and develop communication skills and confidence in your abilities, there will be results. We are all works in progress but I know we will get there someday. Don't underestimate yourself. We got to believe in ourselves.
