I remember the feeling
Whenever I saw you in a crowd
Whenever I would hear your voice
That excitement in my chest
I still remember it
I remember the emotions
I remember the laughs
The short lived happiness that blinded me too well
Blinded be to the destruction
The slow deterioration you were bringing
To my confidence
To my self worth
To my trust
I never thought I would forget you
I never thought I'd forget the freckle on your cheek
The slight crookedness to your smile
The smell of you
But here I am
Finding myself asking "Who?" at the mention of your name
Not quite knowing whether that freckle was on the right cheek or the left
Finding what I had always hoped I'd find in "your smell"
Not the thought of you
But "clean"
I am now clean
Clean of the thought of you
The memory of you
And the strain of you
I am myself
And no longer yours
Because you never truly wanted me to begin with
