Let me paint you a picture. It’s Friday night, the registered function is over, the sober rides are ending and the party is pretty much over.
Well, except for the seven or eight people who firmly believe that going to bed before 3 a.m. is un-American. The song on the speaker system is ending and you are standing closest to the laptop and everyone is looking at you to put the next track on. What do you do?
After years of research I would like to humbly present a list of the all-time greatest fraternity classic tunes. These classics are sure to be late night hits.
10. "I Wanna Rock" – Twisted Sister. This classic jam’s lyrics are strangely appropriate for that post-rager. It’s essentially 1984’s version of “Turn Down For What?”
9. "Danger Zone" – Kenny Loggins. Top Gun may be the frattiest movie of all time, but that’s another article. Seriously, the girls love this one and it’s perfect for any patriotic themed party.
8. "Down Under" – Men at Work. This classic features a prime example of the rare flute solo, which is a total Ron Burgundy move.
7. "Come Sail Away" – Styx. This is the only good song that Styx made but, damn, it’s a masterpiece. Starts out a little slow, but it gets me every time.
6. "Africa" – Toto. For some reason, this song brings the animal out of people. I think the jungle beats really get people going. Regardless, this staple’s fantastic bongo is all too often wasted on the uneducated.
5. "Jessie’s Girl" – Rick Springfield. This song is beyond classic. Seriously, everyone knows the lyrics to this one. If you don’t get really hyped when you hear the first few bars of that guitar track you are probably a communist.
4. "Your Love" – The Outfield. The music video for this song is a perfect representation of the style at the time. Mullets, Trench Coats and Ray-Ban Wayfarers – these guys are the real deal. And it’s all about random hook ups. Nice.
3. "Take Me Home Tonight" – Eddie Money. I think it may be inherently obvious why this song made the list. Mr. Money knew what he was getting into with this one. It’s the clear favorite for the last call at every dive bar in America.
2. "Oh What A Night" – Four Seasons. Bear with me, everyone. This is my personal dark horse pick. This song made it on the list because it’s the song our parents finished their nights on. Seriously, this classic has been bumping the post-ragers since the late 60s.
1. "Come On Eileen" – Dexy’s Midnight Runners. This is the greatest song of all time and anyone who thinks differently should shoot me an email so I can educate you on its merits. All too often, this song is played way too early at a party. To truly understand the subtle complexities of this lyrical masterpiece patience must be observed. If you don’t want to prematurely play this one, make sure you wait at least three hours after the start of the scheduled function.
There are, clearly, more great songs. Honorable mentions go to Cyndi Lauper’s "Girls Just Want To Have Fun," Survivor’s "Eye Of The Tiger," Haddaway’s "What Is Love?" and Bryan Adam’s "Summer of ’69."
Well, it’s been a great first article. Please stay safe, have fun and keep grindin’.
