When I was younger, I was always thinking there was nothing you couldn't do. Nothing scared you. You were alone with two kids and fought fearlessly through CROWDS of nay sayers and main stream soccer moms who seemingly had their perfect life together. You were not the mom who got to get your nails done every two weeks and drive around in your brand new car that your loving husband bought for you. You drove a car that you could afford and one that got you from point A to point B even though I knew you'd rather be rolling around in a nicer car that fit your strong personality. You were and still are my super hero. I want you to know that I appreciate every sacrifice that you made for me. I am so thankful for every single night that you stayed up with me because I was scared or crying or gawking over a new guy that caught my attention. I saw momma. I saw those plans you cancelled to be home with me. I saw when you went without to give in to our selfish wants. I saw you mom. I saw the fear when the bills kept adding up and I heard the prayers. I was there when you fell to your knees crying because you just failed that nursing class. There went your savings and all of your hard work, right? No. You never gave up. You fought through everything to give us a wonderful life. You were so young...
When I was in the hospital for several weeks and not one single doctor could figure out what was wrong with me, I wasn't scared. Because of you, I didn't lose hope. After being fed multiple doses of seizure medicine I finally woke up. I looked over at you. While trying to fight the haze, the only thing I could get to fall out of my mouth was "you". You looked right back at me and without missing a beat you said, "yes baby. It will always be me. I'll never leave you" and I was able to peacefully slip away again. YOU, momma, are a warrior. You are a perfect light in a very, very dark world. I am so grateful. When I cry, you cry. When I lost a friend, so did you. You were there through everything. Growing up, I KNEW that I had a friend. When the world was against me, they were against you. You never left my side. I can't tell you what a positive impact that has had on my life. I feel confident in my intelligence because of you. I have pursued unrealistic opportunities because of you. Because of you, I will not give up. I have the confidence to be who I am because I know that no matter what happens, when I look for you, you will be there. I owe my life to you, mom. You've been fighting and fighting for me since I was born and I want you to know that I will fight for you now. There is nothing that I won't do for you. My heart is over flowing with love for you, mom. You have been a solid rock in my life and I can't seem to get over the fact that you have literally given me everything you have. Thank you. Thank you for everything.
It amazes me that someone's love is aloud to stretch that far. Apart from an undying love that you have so freely given me, my favorite thing you have given me, I didn't get until around last July. I finally understand what you meant by, "You can be anything you want." You didn't mean that I could just up and become a doctor because let's face it, I get sick at just the thought of someone having an injury. You didn't mean I could become a mathematician like my sister...I'm pretty sure math hates me more than I hate it. But rather, I could be WHOEVER I wanted to be in life. I could be the little girl who wore flowers on her dresses. I could be the girl who chose not to go to parties but stay in and watch movies. I could be the adventurous type or the 'safe' type. I could be the lady who decided to settle down at a young age or the one who didn't settle down at all. I could be the one who had many kids or the one who had none. Never in your life did you say that I would not get ridiculed, judged, or mistreated for my decisions but you did say that if I made a decision, and that was the decision that I wanted, I should stand by it and not let anyone push me away from it. And so because of you, I will momma, I will be the best 'whoever' I can be.
