“Everything’s Fine.”

I say this a lot. Repression is one of my most finely-tuned skills. I can be in the shittiest place- emotionally, mentally, and/or physically- and I will maintain the idea that everything is fine.

“I haven’t slept in three days, but that’s fine. Everything’s fine.”

“I just had yet another panic attack about not having a driver’s license and feeling like a mooch? Everything’s fine.”

“I broke into hives as soon as I moved home and I wake up with bruises from scratching myself in my sleep? It’s FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE.”

Repress, repress, repress.*

Turns out, I haven’t been in the best emotional place lately. Because of my brain’s filing cabinet system, I didn’t realize how down I was until I had empty summer days to dwell on it. I’ve discovered a lot of stress, which I wasn’t expecting because classes are done.

Surprise! Not all panic comes from stressful school situations; you can find stress ANYWHERE! I’ll outline the different things I’ve found within myself another time. Right now, I’d like to continue repressing focus on ways to be good to myself this summer. Self-care! Woo!

Meditate.

Around Dead Week (the week before Finals Week at ISU), I got out of the habit of meditating. It wasn’t even so much that I was too busy, it’s just that my mind was so preoccupied with worrying about finals and moving home and paying for next semester that I didn’t make time to breathe.

Ironically, when I feel this way, meditating is the first thing I should do. So this summer, I want to make time every day to sit somewhere quiet and center myself. It’s so good for me, I just need to be good to myself.

Bullet journal.

I started a bullet journal right after I graduated high school, and I loved it. I filled out the entire journal and started on another over the next six months, but when spring semester started I got a Happy Planner™ and ditched my journal for the gorgeously organized (and frankly a little inspiring) planner pages. I don’t regret that choice at all – I love that planner ­– but I think a bullet journal is better for me in the summer.

Summertime has such little structure, and that really feeds into my depression. But journaling last summer kept me motivated and organized, if only by laying out (in lovely, colorful ink) my goals and accomplishments.

Read.

During school, I don’t have a ton of time to read recreationally, but now that I’m on vacation I want to get back into it. Something I’ve learned about myself: I love autobiographies. A lot of people I adore have written books recently (Anna Kendrick; Amy Poehler; and The Holy Trinity aka Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart, and Mamrie Hart), and I love reading their writing.

Getting to see how they think, learning about them as people rather than characters/celebrities – I’m super intrigued by that. (Also it makes me feel like I’m kind of their best friend, and that’s not sad because everything’s fine.)

Leave the house.

Fun fact about Jada: I can stay in bed for days on end, and even if I have enough energy to get out of bed, I would have to be on a whole other level to actually leave my house. I did this at school too. I went to class and then I went back to my apartment, grabbed a snack, took off my pants, and got in bed. Was this partially because I couldn’t stand two-thirds of my roommates? Yes. But it’s also just a classic part of my personality.

HOWEVER, I’d like to change that. I went out last night and saw some friends from high school that I hadn’t seen in nearly a year, and it was so nice. Sometimes I forget that I like putting clothes on and having adventures. Sometimes. Most times I like to sleep, but this summer is about growing and getting out of my comfort zone. This means getting out of bed and speaking to other human beings.

Work.

Because I need money.

Figure out living at home as a college student.

I wish I could write a whole paragraph full of advice on how to be an “adult” while also living with your parents, but I have zero words of wisdom on that topic. When I came home last night, it was an hour past my high school curfew, and I genuinely feared I would get in trouble.

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO NAVIGATE THIS. Do I revert to high school rules because I’m living under my parents’ roof? Are things different now that I’m technically/legally an adult who has once lived on her own? I have no idea, so I will keep you updated as I learn more. Hopefully.

Finally, write.

This one has dual purposes. I love writing, and in order to get better at it, it’s important that I do it consistently. Luckily, I have an Odyssey blog to do just that. Along with that, I’d like to hold myself accountable by keeping you guys updated on my summer goals.

If you’d like to join me by creating a goal or goals for yourself this summer, a. that would be amazing, and b. feel free to share/comment on this article with your summer goal and we can get better together! (Does this count as being sociable?)

My main goal for the next three months is to take care of myself. That means staying organized, checking in with my emotions, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I’ll keep you posted as to how that’s going. Feel free to keep me posted on your progress as well!

*Repression is bad for you. Don’t do it.