How many people truly mean it when they tell their friends that they will be there for them no matter what? Does no matter what include the bad times or is it only the days when they're laughing and having fun? I know that everyone wants to say that they would always stand by their friend's side, but until you're in that position, you never really know.
The other night I was put in the position where I had to be with my friend during an extremely tough time for him. He was at the hospital when he called and without hesitation, I went there to be with him. I didn't know what to expect as I was walking in. I was honestly quite afraid of what might have happened. In the past, he has expressed suicidal thoughts and has even claimed to have attempted them. When you get these calls from your friends, it is scary enough as it is. But when you know that your friend has felt these dark feelings, it shakes you to the core.
That night, I went and I sat beside him for hours. We talked with his counselor and we discussed options that he had in order to get better. Unfortunately though, he didn't want to try these options. He was in denial about the fact that he had a problem that needed to be worked through. He instead chose to leave the hospital without ever attempting to find a solution.
This is where I ran into difficulty with being there for my friend. In my mind, he was being selfish for not even attempting to get the help he needs. He refused to allow the doctors to do the tests they needed and because of that, he left just the same as he came. I found it nearly impossible to want to be there for him at this point. If he cared about me, wouldn't he want to do whatever he had to in order to get better? As selfish as that sounds I just felt that if he cared he would do whatever he needed to get the help he needs.
These are the times that you need to be there no matter what. This for me wasn't easy, but I did it. At that moment, the only thing he needed was a friend. He needed someone who would look past the dark side of him and instead see him as the guy I first met. I still wish that he would have accepted the help he very much needed. I wish that he wouldn't have left the hospital without further consulting a professional. But since he didn't, I still needed to do what a real friend does. I walked out of the hospital with him and I gave him food. I took him back to his building and I walked him to the door. The next morning I called to check on him and I kept doing what a friend should do.
My point is this - I told him that I would be there if he ever needed me. I mean that. This doesn't mean to be there for him only when it is benefiting me. This means that I will be there for him through the sad and dark times just as much as the times where we sit around and laugh about nothing.
You never know what it means to them. Go above and beyond with your friends. Love them with your whole heart and be who you would want them to be for you.
