Selfish
adjective
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
To most people the adjective selfish has a negative connotation. That it is wrong for someone to make a selfish decision, or to even act selfish. At one point in my life I felt this way as well. I soon learned that there is nothing wrong with being selfish. In fact, I believe that everyone should be selfish no matter how much it hurts the people you care about. You have one life and it should be spent doing what makes you happy, not everyone else.
Throughout my life, I have always been a people pleaser. Some would say this is a positive characteristic, others, a flaw. My biggest fear is disappointing anyone I care about, and let's face it, it's impossible not to at one point or another. However, going through life with this characteristic often led me to sacrifice my own happiness if it meant making someone else happy. Every decision I made I would go through a list in my head of who it would affect, and how they would feel. However, I never once considered myself on that list. Evidently, the most important person.
At the time, this had always seemed the easiest and safest route. No one could hate me if I was doing what they wanted me to do. I thought, nothing could go wrong if everyone around me was happy, even if I wasn’t. I also believed that if I did what I truly wanted in my life and it interfered with what others wanted I would not only be a disappointment to them but that they would hate me. This is not the mentality any one should approach life with.
After years of people pleasing, I made a choice in my life that pleased me, and no one else. While many people didn't agree with this decision, the people who love me and cared about me supported my decision regardless. That's when it hit me... The people who love me want me to be happy and the people who couldn't support me, didn't deserve to be in my life. However, due to my fear of being a disappointment to people I missed out on a lot of things I enjoy. I became a person who went through the motions of my life instead of living it, all because I was afraid to be selfish and live the life I wanted doing what made me happy.
Even though I didn't always know this, I know this now... It’s okay to be selfish. It’s okay to make choices that make you happy even if it hurts someone else and it is definitely okay to do whatever the f*** you want. No one should ever feel like they have to walk on egg shells their whole life to please others. It's your life and you are free to do whatever you want with it. Yes, this makes you selfish but like I said, there is nothing wrong with living a selfish life. In fact, I think it is a wonderful thing to be selfish.
So, be selfish and always put yourself first. No one ever regrets doing what made them happy, and neither should you.
