From birth, we are told to do what we love, to chase our dreams. We are told the limits are only in our heads and that we have infinite potential to do whatever we so choose. Our heads are filled with fluffy dreams of what we can accomplish with determination and some elbow grease. And after 18 years of our society and our parents telling us to follow our dreams, we go out and chase them, knowing full-well in our hearts that we can do anything.

And then the message changes.

Suddenly, the dreams we are chasing are no longer supported by our parents as we go off to college, spending thousands of dollars in an risk-all attempt to find that fulfillment we have been taught to seek. Suddenly, our dreams of fulfillment come with a price tag and a long time commitment and the enthusiasm from others falls away. Suddenly, reality seems a lot less willing to mold to our ideals of happiness and concern begins to build on the sidelines. And then suddenly, the child who had for so long thought they were invincible and totally unstoppable, are being pulled down and told to "be realistic."

It was this simple phrase that almost tore my whole world down.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an archaeologist (weird profession for an eight-year-old, right?) and my whole family was so proud of their daughter who was going to go to college and be successful. I had everything planned out, right down to where I was going to college and what my specialization was going to be. But then, after about eight or nine years of this, I changed my mind. I decided that I wanted to be a missionary and travel the world telling people about God, and in my mind it was the most beautiful and perfect thing I could think of. Unfortunately, my parents did not agree as fully as I did.

You see, in my mind, I knew that I could me a great missionary. I had the drive, the love for people and the willingness to sacrifice for the things that I loved and had passion for. I was sure.

But, in order to get a degree in Missions, you had to go to a Christian school, which costs money, and then you had to join a group and go overseas, which costs more money and you may or may not get paid well, which essentially costs money. And it could seem like I was spinning myself into a bottomless pit of debt and beggary for the rest of my life.

So, after I told my family my new plan, I got to be a part of a lot of conversations that kept telling me to “be realistic” and find a better paying job. But my love was not in another job. They told me to “be realistic” and think of how I was going to pay off student loans. But I was sure God would take care of that. And they told me to “be realistic” and think about what kind of life I was going to live. But I knew that this was where I was going to find my happiness. This was the job they kept telling me to look for when I was a kid. This was the job that my heart wanted.

Now, by now you may notice that I have been talking about this almost exclusively in the past-tense.

You see, after my freshman year of college at that fancy, expensive (and wonderful, by the way) Christian school, and after having nearly gone to court to defend my choices to my dad, I decided to change my major.

Now, I am following my heart in a different direction. I am majoring in Biblical Studies, English Writing and TESOL with the intent to become a university professor. This is the dream that I have now. And, at times, this dream can seem a lot more challenging than the other one that I had three years ago. Now, all the determination and stubbornness has to be put on school and developing my skills and learning all that I possibly can until my head physically explodes. And this job path costs no less money to do. We are talking at least six more years of school after undergrad before emerging into a wildly competitive field where almost everyone is smarter than you and twice as vicious.

But, I am still me and I am still wildly stubborn. And for me, this is still being “realistic.” Because I was raised to believe that I could do anything if I worked hard enough and long enough. So, to a lot of my family that still works in factories and never went to college, this is still “unrealistic” and to them my life will always be a pipe-dream, but you know what? That doesn’t mean it is impossible.

So, what do I want to be when I grow up?

Whatever the heck I want to be. Because, for me, that is “realistic.”