Recently, I ended a friendship with a guy who had ghosted me, which caused a lot of misunderstandings and disagreements between us. After he ghosted me and I never initiated any discussion about it out of both hurt and anger, we both finally came clean to each other about what happened. It was a situation in which we were both to blame. To make a long story short, the reason he ghosted me wasn't because of a girl he met (which is what I originally thought), but because he interpreted my actions of always wanting to hang out with him to mean I liked him, and he didn't know how to tell me he didn't feel the same way about me. He also thought I was too clingy, texted him too much, and was just "too much" as a person.

The second I read those words, my heart shattered.

I wasn't upset because of a lost potential relationship (which I had wondered about since we spent so much time together) or even a lost friendship. I was upset because, with those words, I felt as though he was attacking the core of my personality. I always care about my friends because I don't want anyone to go through the bullying and fake friendships I endured as a kid. Over the years, I have tried to show people as much as possible that I value them and that I see how important they are. For the first time ever, as far as I knew, my personality had ended a friendship that I valued.

I was extremely upset as I wracked my brain to find what was so wrong with me that would cause someone to not want to be my friend anymore. "Am I really that annoying?" I kept asking myself. "Do people not like me behind my back? How many of my other friends have this problem with me and don't know how to say it?" I was incredibly paranoid, no matter how many times my family and friends told me that those thoughts simply were not the case, but, in my own stubbornness, I chose to ignore them. I was convinced that I had to drastically change myself in order for others to think I was even a remotely good person.

I knew these feelings had to end. The doubts were absolutely destroying me. I prayed so much about it and had a constant dialogue with God to change who I was and asking Him why He made me this way. I was afraid of ending up all alone because of my personality.

However, after a lot of prayers and looking back at my own life, God told me very clearly this was how He made me, and He wasn't going to change me. He gave me the personality He did for His good and perfect reason, and I should trust in His decision.

After receiving that answer, I felt a great peace over myself. The way I am is the way God uniquely designed me to be, and I should do nothing to try to change that. I remember standing in my dorm, thinking this over, and then realizing, "I'm okay with the way I am right now. I definitely always want to improve myself and to be considerate of the way others respond to friendship, but as I am, I am happy with the way God created me."

I instantly felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. In the coming weeks, I would go about my life feeling comfortable in my own skin and confident in myself, and it helped me be so much happier.

This is something people can carry into their lives not just in romantic relationships, but also in friendships and other relationships people encounter. If you can confidently stand on your own two feet, you'll be a lot more willing to truly be yourself around others, and that kind of authenticity is one of the best gifts you can give to the people you care about.