As I have gone through many serious relationships, I have come to realize that I am not going to get anywhere productive with my life if I do not love myself unconditionally. I know that everyone is familiar with the theory of loving ourselves, but nobody knows the important of effectively putting self-love into practice.
Growing up in a culture and society that does not promote self-love has taught me to judge myself, and even others, when I see someone loving and valuing themselves or even putting themselves first. I believe that one of the main reasons I have struggled throughout life with depression and anxiety is because I am constantly seeking others' approval, especially boys'. I have put 110 percent of myself into every guy I have been attracted to, almost as if I believed that having a significant other defines who I am as a person. But, as an incoming sophomore in college who is motivated to get better, I have decided to say goodbye to that lifestyle.
I have challenged myself to take time each day to put myself first and give myself some credit. I am going to inadvertently stumble upon the truth of loving myself unconditionally and living my life joyfully. Whether this means getting the afternoon off of work to get my nails done and go to the gym or cutting people out of my life that tear me down, I have accepted the challenge. I am going to be good to myself and do things that inspire me. Grab a notepad and make a "feel good" list of things you can do today, and any day, to make yourself feel good. My list includes doodling, relaxing and watching a few Netflix episodes, listening to Twenty One Pilots, sitting out in the sun, etc. Forgive yourself if you skip a couple here and there, but really try to do a few each day.
I have also accepted the fact that I no longer need to seek validation of others in order to feel worthy because I am one hell of a person. Once I start realizing that, and simply looking myself in the mirror with approval and a smile on my face, I have realized that my mood and my mental health for that day completely turns around. I have come to a point where I have realized that I am worthy, deserving and amazing, and even wonderful, because I just exist. I have made it through a lot, and I think that realizing that I am worthy and here on this planet for a reason will save me.
I am not saying that it is impossible for someone else to love you if you do not love yourself, but it makes it a whole lot easier. I just believe that if you are happy with where you are personally, then it's easier to find someone who you can be truly happy with. It has taken me a few dud relationships along the way to show me that I need to really be working on my relationship with myself.
I encourage all of you, single or not, to take care of yourself. Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Accept yourself.
