Bravery isn't something you're born with - you acquire it over time as you gain life experiences. You can practice being brave by acting on what your heart tells you to do and challenging yourself with new experiences, even when you're afraid.
There was a time when, more than anything, I wanted to make the BYU dance team. I was vastly under-qualified and afraid I'd make a fool of myself. I went to lessons, practiced with my partner, learned the routines... but I almost didn't show up for the audition. After all the time I spent preparing, I was terrified of the judges. When I finally decided to put myself out there anyway, I tried my best, but still did not get accepted. Yet when I look back, I don't regret having auditioned. It's something I can still look back on proudly. It can take a little time and a lot of patience with yourself, but with a positive attitude, you’ll find yourself becoming braver than you ever thought possible.
Yet bravery doesn't mean that you're never afraid - it means that you are afraid, but you move forward anyway. The instances I had to be the most brave in my life were times when I was put in a position where I had to be. I think relationships and dating are among the greatest examples of bravery as a young adult. If you're single, you have to be strong enough to stand tall even when you're alone. If you are starting the path toward a new relationship, you have to have the faith to put your heart on your sleeve. Once the relationship becomes real, you have to be brave enough to either move toward the next step together or knowingly break someone's heart (and recognize it could be your own that gets broken).
When you try to push emotions away, they often just become stronger. It's like the game you used to play with your siblings when you tell them not to think about a purple elephant. What do they end up thinking about? A purple elephant! Instead, acknowledge that you feel the way you feel. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You will be able to better deal with your emotions when you’re honest about them.
Here are some suggestions for learning to become more brave:
- Get away from the “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” syndrome. Verbalizing what you're afraid of can bring it out into the open and make it seem more ordinary.
- Recognize that it is absolutely normal to be afraid. Judging yourself for your feelings isn’t helpful, and it won’t lead to bravery.
- Be sure of what it is you are actually afraid of. Take some time to identify where your fear is really coming from.
- Decide if your fear is motivating you or hindering you. Is it something that makes you want to try harder to be prepared? Or does it paralyze you from doing something that could help?
- Don't worry about being perceived as weak. We all have fears, and if someone else doesn't understand yours, that doesn't mean the things you worry about aren't real.
- Let go of the things you can't control. The only thing you can control is you.
So, be brave! And even if you're not, pretend to be.
There should be at least one person who always believes in you: namely, yourself.
