Rome was not built in a day, and neither are relationships. We all have amazing people in our lives that we cherish to no end. But, there are things that we all need to do better to make those relationships stronger and to make those people truly feel validated in their times of need. I myself have a hard time with each of these things, and in writing this, will hopefully be able to put my own words into action.
1. Text them first
This is a struggle that we all have with our good friends, we think thoughts like, “Am I being annoying?” “Is double texting okay?” or you’re being the stubborn friend who doesn’t want to have to be the first one to send a text. Either way, if you are truly going to make a person feel that you cherish their presence in your life, you MUST let them know. And how better to do that than a sweet little text from you? It doesn’t have to be anything more than a simple “Hey this thing reminded me of you” or “Hey I'm thinking of you,” to immediately make someone's day brighter.
2. Talk about yourself less
Friends always go to their favorite people for advice, or to vent, and if you are the chosen person in their life you need to shut up and listen! I say this because within other people’s problems we are sure to see things we have experienced in the past, and want to discuss them, but it is not always the time to do so. You have to be willing to truly hear what the other person is speaking about and make them feel validated in their problem, this is something I struggle with pretty hard. ALSO just make sure that your friend is asking for an opinion before you give one, because they may not have asked for one, and could take it in a way you didn’t intend for them to. Communication is key!
3. Actually, show up
Something that ALL friends do, is making plans and then bail on them. This can make or break a friendship if done too many times though. Sure there are legitimate excuses, don’t get me wrong, but just not feeling like it, will never be one of them. Get up, get dressed, and go see that movie, or have dinner, or just hang out. You make plans because you miss that other person, or because you need them, or because you don’t want to be alone, and when plans fall through it can be a huge letdown.
Bonus tip: Never bail on a friend for other friends, and if you do then don’t share it for the world to see because that can be the quickest route to hurt feelings and sad times.
4. Give them space when they need it
If someone you love is going through difficult times then always make sure to ask them what their needs are, and if they say they need some time apart then you have to respect that, especially if your friendship is the cause of their heartache. It is amazing what a little bit of time and space can do for a person because it gives them the time to reflect on their actions, what they are frustrated with and what they need to do to be a better friend as well. And when you reunite and talk things through, both friends will ultimately feel better about the relationship.
5. Remember small gestures matter
Little things can matter a lot to a friend, do something small for them once in a while. Recently, I woke up quite hungover from a night out on the town and my friend had coffee and a donut waiting for me, that small little move was something that legitimately melted my heard and made me remember how much a small gesture can mean to someone. Grab them their favorite candy when you hit the gas station, or cover them with a blanket if they fall asleep, do a cute photo shoot, any one of those things will remind your friend of the love you have for them.
Friendship is honestly one of the most amazing things about this life we live. You will undoubtedly come across more than just one soulmate in the short time you're given, and when keeping these things in the back of your mind, you can strengthen those bonds, making a friendship last a lifetime. Every relationship hits a bump or two, but it is what you do to make that other person know you care that will keep them around forever.