Be an Aunt not a Mother

Be an Aunt not a Mother

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Before I was even born, I was an aunt. My oldest sister had my niece Shakayla and then 8 years later my parents decided to try for me and BAM !!! Then all of my siblings who are way older than me decided to have children. They each have a minimum of 3 children.

I have 17 nieces and nephews who are literally the light of my life. I have so many that I've decided not to be a mother. If you ask an aunt or an uncle "who is your favorite niece or nephew?" And they say no one. They are LYING! We all have our favorites or favorite. Mine is my niece Jia, but I call her by her middle name Zamani or by her nickname "Mama".

She was born on April 9th 2011 and has been lighting my heart ever since. We dance all the time to Cardi B and Taylor Swift. We eat junk food and do each others hair. We laugh and cry about the same things.

It's weird to be a teenager and wanting to hang out with a child than your friends but it's possible. Being an aunt is the best thing that could have happened to me.

You get to take care of these little people, watch them grow, and give them back at the end of the night?! It's fantastic!

My family is HUGE! When we all get together it's a blast. I won't be having kids in the future because I feel like there is more than enough kids to go around.

Everybody says that I'm crazy but I'm not. I've helped raise more than half of my nieces and nephews. I've been thrown up on, peed on, spit on, pooped on and kissed more times than I could count. I wouldn't trade them for the world but I wouldn't add to them either.

Imagine working your behind off all day! You've gone to class and work and you really need a break! Only to come home and take care of little people? Yeah no. I'm gonna have to pass.

I play with my nieces and nephews all the time. We go to the movies, and the mall, and out to eat. We have the best sleepovers, I give them whatever they want and at the end of the day ... I drop them off to Mommy.

It's a wonderful life. You should try it.

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A Letter To The Grandpas Who Left Far Too Soon

The thoughts of a girl who lost both of her grandpas too early.
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Dear Grandpa,

As I get older, my memories are starting to fade. I try to cling to every last bit of memory that I have of you. There are certain memories that have stuck well in my brain, and I probably will never forget them, at least I hope I don't. I remember your smile and your laugh. I can still remember how your voice sounded. I never want to forget that. I catch myself closing my eyes to try to remember it, playing your voice over and over in my head so that I can ingrain it in my memory.

I always thought you were invincible, incapable of leaving me. You were so young, and it caught us all by surprise. You were supposed to grow old, die of old age. You were not supposed to be taken away so soon. You were supposed to see me graduate high school and college, get married to the love my life, be there when my kids are born, and never ever leave.

My heart was broken when I heard the news. I don't think I had experienced a pain to that level in my entire life. At first, I was in denial, numb to the thought that you were gone. It wasn't until Thanksgiving, then Christmas, that I realized you weren't coming back. Holidays are not the same anymore. In fact, I almost dread them. They don't have that happy cheer in the air like they did when you were alive. There is a sadness that hangs in the air because we are all thinking silently how we wished you were there. I hope when I am older and have kids that some of that holiday spirit comes back.

You know what broke my heart the most though? It was seeing your child, my parent, cry uncontrollably. I watched them lose their dad, and I saw the pain that it caused. It scared me, Grandpa, because I don't ever want to lose them like how they lost you. I can't imagine a day without my mom or dad. I still see the pain that it causes and how it doesn't go away. There are good days and there are bad days. I always get upset when I see how close people are to their grandparents and that they get to see them all the time. I hope they realize how lucky they are and that they never take it for granted. I wish I could have seen you more so that I could have more memories to remember you by.

I know though that you are watching over me. That is where I find comfort in the loss. I know that one day I will get to see you again, and I can't wait for it. I hope I have made you proud. I hope that all that I have accomplished and will accomplish makes you smile from ear to ear. I hope that the person I marry is someone you would approve of. And I hope that my kids get more time with their grandpa than I did because the amount I got wasn't fair.

I want to say thank you for raising your child to be the best parent ever because they will one day be the best grandparent ever. Just like you.

Cover Image Credit: Katelyn McKinney

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Thank You: A poem dedicated to my friends

thank you for being my friend
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Thank you for the laughs we share

The nights where we laugh about silly memories from our past or about something stupid that happened yesterday

Thank you for the cries we shared

Whether something happened to me or to you, thank you for just being there for me so we can get through it together

Thank you for the advice you have given me

Without this, I would not be even half the woman I am today without it

Thank you for giving back confidence to me

The confidence I have now is more than I've ever had it, you brighten me up when I’m feeling low with the words you speak to me.

Thank you for your honesty

Your honest opinions do not hurt, they help. People need constructive criticism in their lives nothing should be sugar coated with true friends.

Thank you for your time

The time it takes to read this, the time it takes to talk to me, thank you for taking the time out of your day to give me love and support that I may not even deserve, from you

Thank you for being you, thank you being my freind

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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