Be an Aunt not a Mother

Be an Aunt not a Mother


Before I was even born, I was an aunt. My oldest sister had my niece Shakayla and then 8 years later my parents decided to try for me and BAM !!! Then all of my siblings who are way older than me decided to have children. They each have a minimum of 3 children.

I have 17 nieces and nephews who are literally the light of my life. I have so many that I've decided not to be a mother. If you ask an aunt or an uncle "who is your favorite niece or nephew?" And they say no one. They are LYING! We all have our favorites or favorite. Mine is my niece Jia, but I call her by her middle name Zamani or by her nickname "Mama".

She was born on April 9th 2011 and has been lighting my heart ever since. We dance all the time to Cardi B and Taylor Swift. We eat junk food and do each others hair. We laugh and cry about the same things.

It's weird to be a teenager and wanting to hang out with a child than your friends but it's possible. Being an aunt is the best thing that could have happened to me.

You get to take care of these little people, watch them grow, and give them back at the end of the night?! It's fantastic!

My family is HUGE! When we all get together it's a blast. I won't be having kids in the future because I feel like there is more than enough kids to go around.

Everybody says that I'm crazy but I'm not. I've helped raise more than half of my nieces and nephews. I've been thrown up on, peed on, spit on, pooped on and kissed more times than I could count. I wouldn't trade them for the world but I wouldn't add to them either.

Imagine working your behind off all day! You've gone to class and work and you really need a break! Only to come home and take care of little people? Yeah no. I'm gonna have to pass.

I play with my nieces and nephews all the time. We go to the movies, and the mall, and out to eat. We have the best sleepovers, I give them whatever they want and at the end of the day ... I drop them off to Mommy.

It's a wonderful life. You should try it.

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Why Hardworking & Independent People Are The Best Yet Hardest To Date

Date at 5:30, arrives at 6:30.

First off, let's start with why we're difficult to date.. It takes A LOT for us to leave the house outside of work. Yes, we know it sounds crazy, but we love our job and we're compassionate about our work. However, sometimes we forget that we're supposed to have a life outside of work. That's what seems impossible for us.. We work a lot because we're single and it keeps us busy, so the minute someone walks into our life we have a hard time trying to adjust to that routine. It sounds so simple and small, but it's difficult for us to do. We literally have been single for so long that we become over the top independent. It's tough for us to rely on someone when we've been alone and living our own successful life. Don't let our tough ways fool you, we do want to love someone, care for someone, spend time with someone and build something! If you want to know a plus about us; it would be we're STABLE, we can make SACRIFICES and we put our EVERYTHING into things that mean the most to us. I understand we come with many layers like an onion, but once you peel this caliber of a person- you're the luckiest person on Earth.. Believe it or not.

Now, I'm going to get personal here about the work aspect of this. I personally wake up at 5:30-6:00 every day. I show up to work no later than 7 and work till 8-8:30 at night. Please look at the hours I spend at work and away from home or if I had someone in my life- look how much time I'm away from building with them. Majority of my friends that are married work 8-4. They get 4-5 more hours to spend time with their loved ones. Here's where I prove how we can sacrifice. We would gladly cut our hours back a wee-bit to be with you. Believe me, we come with many gears and we can go into tunnel vision to complete our tasks in time. 

We get it that we're difficult to date, hard to understand or live BORING compared to most. We love deeply, work hard every day to be the best we can be and try to be successful so that one day we don't ever have to worry if we're enough or can support a couple more mouths.


The girl that's known for working too much.

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Animal Farm (But Without the Soviets)

Shut up and listen to Sparky.

What if you woke up one day and this example of absolute, rip your heart out, innocence didn't exist?  Would you miss them?  

Why is there no hall of fame for pets?  Or how about the Nobel Prize?  Why don't we ever hand those out to our beloved four legged friends? Did Air Bud or Snoopy not make as big of an impact on our lives as Martin Luther King or Ghandi?  I think I speak for the entire population that successfully made it through sixth grade when I say that Old Dan and Little Ann left a mark on my soul.  Black Beauty brought my nine year old self to tears and if you can make it through all of Homeward Bound without tearing up when Shadow falls into the mud pit just before reaching his beloved Peter or cheering when you finally see him descend over the hill, limping right behind Chance, then you can stop reading now and go check out a self help book on how to unlock your emotions.  This article isn't for the heartless, thank you very much.

There are three types of pictures that my mom took of me as a kid.  The first kind, I'm featured stuffing my face, a very flattering collection, I might add.  The second, I am rebelling against her request to smile for yet another picture by making an overdramatic face in hopes that I can make her laugh.  I wanted my outgoing confidence and tenacity documented from a young age.  The third category of pictures is made up of me with one of our pets.  When I was born, we had three cats and soon after my arrival we purchased a Golden Retriever for Father's day, even though the dog really was more for the three of us kids than for my dad.  We grew up together, the Golden Retriever and I.  The trials of puppyhood and toddlerhood go hand-in-paw so easily, so we traversed the eras together.

Hand-in-Paw we go into this life, so many of us, and yet when conversations of role models and inspirational figures, those that have touched our lives in such ways that we have deemed them worthy enough to discuss at great length, we never talk about the ones who could understand us sometimes better than anyone else, all without being able to speak to us in a language we could reciprocate.  

I recently finished reading a book called The Art of Racing in the Rain and if you haven't read it and want to gain some more respect for the dog you can't be bothered to play with at the end of a long work day, when you choose to watch three hours of Greys Anatomy instead of walking him/her outside, I recommend that you check it out at your local library.  It's worth it.  In the hopes that you'll take my suggestion, I won't spoil the plot, but the brief overview of the book is the inner monologues of a dog through his life with his human family.  He describes the human condition with a fresh and unbiased perspective and by the end of the book has convinced the reader that if humans only paid attention to their dogs a little more, they would see who was really wiser when it comes to love, generosity, compassion, empathy--you know, the hard stuff.

Of course there's always the argument that dogs dig diapers out of the trash--my Golden Retriever was guilty of this--and that they will spend an hour looking for a snowball you threw into a mound of fresh powder.  People will point at these, expecting them to be sufficient enough evidence to convince me that dogs are dumber than humans.  But I would like to point out that humans eat laundry detergent and cinnamon and choke on too many marshmallows for the sake of social media entertainment, so who really won this round?  

Hear me out, cynics; I'm not trying to negate human's intelligence. We can be a very smart species (complete with opposable thumbs, much to our furry friend's chagrin), however we are also an extremely narrow-minded species that has a tendency to underestimate the importance of something that we don't understand completely.  

How many of you out there have had a dog or a cat or a horse or a snake (how you can believe that something deadly and scaly can be just as cuddly as Milo and Otis, I'll never understand but hey, to each his own I guess) or any other kind of pet that has had an impact on your life?  Don't tell me there haven't been moments when you've found solace in just talking to your dog when there was no one there to listen. Don't tell me he or she didn't know exactly how you felt in that moment and what to do to make you feel better.  Don't tell me you didn't look into their eyes, those french-window-big eyes and hear them say to you 'I get it. I'm here for you,'.  And isn't that all we want in this world? Isn't that what we're looking for when making new friends or trying to discern if he/she is the one?  

I think we forget about that because we are such a response-weighted society.  We say something and we want a reaction. We want advice, we want proof that whoever we are talking to was listening.  We don't value the act of listening anymore.  But that's exactly what animals do for us.  They are an audience that always hears what you have to say.  And sure, they can't tell you in words you can understand what you should do when you're not sure if he's into you or if you should ask out that girl at work or how you're supposed to feel when Mom and Dad drop the news that you'll be spending Christmas with one and your birthday with the other.  But they always listen, don't they? 

Sue Monk Kidd says, "There is no pain on Earth that doesn't crave a benevolent witness." and how much more benevolent can you get than someone who couldn't be happier that their sole purpose in life is to be there for you, to love you unconditionally, even if that means you never understand them completely? 

Ok, well maybe the above sentiment is not always true for cats. They're the greedy psychiatrists of the animal world--if they're not on the clock, they don't care what you have to say.

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