Having a "normal" relationship is hard enough without throwing your (or your partner's) kinks into the mix, so remember these rules when delving into the world of BDSM.
1. Do NOT assume things
Just because you mentioned spanking once like 6 months ago when you in the middle of drunk sex does not mean that your partner is going to remember what you said, so please, for the love of sweet baby Jesus, communicate!!! Expecting them to do things exactly the way you want without explicitly telling them what you want will only end in confusion, frustration, and a bottle of God-only-knows-what. Also, keep in mind that this rule goes both ways, so make sure you're checking in with your partner(s) about their comfort levels.
2. Do NOT rush things
Just because some porn star makes anal fisting seem easy does not mean that it actually is, so start small because the last thing the ER doctors want to see is your messed up butthole during this pandemic. Unless you've been experimenting for a while, it's best to stick with beginner level things and to start slowly. There are also the emotional/psychological issues that can come from doing things before you and your partner(s) are ready, so unless you want to end up in therapy you should really just start off small.
3. Do NOT start shit with someone you don’t completely trust
If somebody cheated on you, lied to you, or manipulated you, then they are so not the person you want to be diving deep into a BDSM relationship with. That's like ignoring the huge freaking "DANGER" sign that's telling you not to stand too close to the edge of a cliff and instead of running right up to the lip where you proceed to do cartwheels while singing "Chandelier" by Sia. You look unimaginably stupid, and everyone is thinking it, so just don't do it.
4. DON’T not use lube
I don't care what kind of relationship you're in, where you are, what you're doing, or who you're doing it with- ALWAYS USE LUBE!!! Even when you're alone, use lube. Masturbation would not be complete without a handy bottle (or two) or lube, so check the ingredients on that shit and don't be afraid to break some out whenever you're ready to get it on *wink wink*.
I can't guarantee that you'll have a successful BDSM relationship, even if you follow all of these rules to a T, but I promise that these will definitely help point you and your partner(s) in the right direction.
