The Battle Of Loneliness, "Friendship", And Being Left Out
Start writing a post
Student Life

The Battle Of Loneliness, "Friendship", And Being Left Out

Life of a low-key loner.

374
The Battle Of Loneliness, "Friendship", And Being Left Out
Odyssey

Starting in middle school, I was obsessed with making friends with everyone. When I say everyone, I mean I wanted to know every single person that walked the halls. This personal goal carried on to high school as well, where I over committed in my involvement by doing Student Leadership, basketball, Modern Christian Leadership, soccer, marching band, Black Student Association, cheerleading, forensics debate and public speech, lacrosse, musical theater, and a few other clubs. Not only did I love staying busy and growing as a person, I enjoyed befriending those around me. But now that I'm in college, I am confronting a feeling that has been the very undertone of my social life: loneliness.

The million-dollar question is: how can I be surrounded by so many people, yet feel so painfully alone?

Many people think it's a no-brainer that I'm extroverted. Mainly because I bounce off of people, I carry a lot of energy, I love speaking in front of big crowds, etc. but little do they know that these are the very things that drain me as well. I'm an ambivert [1] and I need to recharge by being in solitude. However, when I'm alone for too long, that's when I need to branch out to other humans to be refilled. But what happens when there are no people around me to do this? Here's my problem.

Somehow, there is a false perception that I don't need community because I'm so "out there". They say, "Oh my gosh, Jubes! You literally know everyone," or "Wow, everyone loves you. How do you have so many friends?" I wish they saw what I felt. I wish they felt what I saw. The truth is, what they say is pretty much the opposite of what is actually occurring. Honestly, I feel like I don't have many friends at all. However, the very few that I do have, I cherish their lives and I hold them near and dear to my heart.

One thing that I have been discovering lately is that I never had a concrete definition of what a “friend” is. What classifies as friendship? It's definitely not someone who just says "hi" when they pass you by. But because I used to think that every person who did this was a friend, it hurt even more when I was left in the dust. You know that feeling. When you're clicking on people's Stories or scrolling Instagram, and you find out that the people who you thought were your "friends" hung out without you. Everyone else is with people while you are just in your room...free without plans! Maybe they forgot about you? Or maybe they just aren't good friends. At this moment, the lies from annoying Satan start rushing in once again: "Nobody likes me", "I'm just not good enough", "What's wrong with me?". Sitting on these unanswered questions just suck the life out of you. When in fact, the truth is, you hold intrinsic value. What I mean is, others do not define your worth as a human being. You matter all by yourself. You stand independently important.

It took me years and years to believe this. I actually still am learning to embrace this.

I'm someone who has never felt like she belonged in a group. No matter what sports team I play on, or what club I join, I still feel that loneliness gnashing away at my flesh. I look to my left and I look to my right, everyone seems to have a place. Everyone else seems to belong. And then there's me. The worst part about it is that everyone assumes that I'm okay. But I'm not. I want to feel loved, accepted, and important -- as do you.

Lastly, you are not alone. This year, I have been more open about how I feel and I have spoken to a countless number of people who feel the same way, even people in Greek Life. So let me get this straight. If I'm not alone in feeling lonely and neither are other people, then that means we're not truly alone! Honestly, we become strengthened in the presence of Father. He reminds us who we are in Him. In His comforting Word, He tells us that we're never alone because He's with us all the time, with open arms. He invites us into His love, but all we have to do is invite Him into our loneliness, brokenness, and weakness. He is my only Best Friend Forever. He will never ever leave me, even when I feel that humans have forsaken me, "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother," [2].


[1] - Merriam-Webster Dictionary: a person having characteristics of both extrovert and introvert

[2] - NIV Holy Bible: Proverbs 18:24

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

20 Quotes That Will Make You Smile Today

Everyone could use more self-care and without the judgement...

94
20 Quotes That Will Make You Smile Today

Welcome to a new day and a new opportunity to be our best selves. Here's a list of 20 quotes about self-care, self-love, positivity, and finding inspiration. Carry these quotes with you throughout your day for positive upliftment!

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

10 Small Reasons To Smile​

There's always a reason to be happy.

1215
10 Small Reasons To Smile​

It doesn't cost a thing - so smile.

Keep Reading... Show less
11 Songs That Will Hit You In The Feels, No Doubt About It

One of my favorite things to do when it comes to music is making different playlists on Spotify. I find it so fun to go back to old songs, find new ones, and categorize them into my different playlists. We all have that one playlist that we resort to when we are really feeling some type of way — also known as a "feels" playlist. If you have one of these playlists or feel ~inspired~ to make one, here are 11 songs that are a must to add.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

To My Fellow Girls With Resting B**** Face

A letter to my friends with RBF about understanding your own face and helping others deal with it.

3149
Jupe du Jour

To the girl with resting b**** face:

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Boyfriends Of The 2000s

Thank you, J14, for the Posters

5766
J14 magazine

Every girl remembers her first crush. Even if your first crush was the boy in your kindergarten class that ate crayons, your first true love will always be the one that holds the key to your heart. Growing up in the 2000s, everyone knew who your dream guy was. Your family probably still give you grief and your best friends probably still reminisce, so it is impossible to forget your first celebrity crush. You bought a Tiger Beat magazine every chance you could just to read up about what your favorite celebrity was doing. Your room was fully decorated with posters of them, and it wasn't unusual to have fights with your best friends over who was going to marry him. If you were a 90's baby, lucky you because the 2000s were full of boys that were easy to love. I hope you enjoy a walk down memory lane and quickly realize that Bieber was definitely not the first guy with that hair cut. Here are 15 90's baby's first boyfriends.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments