The other day, an article from Playboy caught my eye (I only read it for the articles, I swear). The article was a subtle ad for a new VH1 reality show, “Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn”, a showcase of truly screwed up “celebrities” and the therapy they go through. The “stars” are Lindsay Lohan’s parents, two chicks from Teen Mom, Tiffany “New York” Pollard and her mom from “Flavor of Love” and “I Love New York”, and the Dash family (rapper Damon Dash and his Brothers). The most desperate head case, and the focus of the article, is skateboarder Brandon "Bam" Margera.
For those of you who don’t know, Bam got his start in skateboarding, forming the CKY Crew, a group closely linked to his brother’s band CKY. After videos of the crews exploits made their way to MTV, Bam and fellow crew member Ryan Dunn became fixtures on MTV’s “Jackass”, performing stunts and causing mayhem with his family. He later got a spin off, “Viva La Bam”, where he continued to torment his parents, his fat unintelligible uncle Don Vito, and his friends.
Things have not been good for Bam lately. Despite all of his fame and fortune, he seems to be the unhappiest man. After the death of Dunn in a fiery car accident, Bam went into a downward spiral. Drinking uncontrollably, Bam has become bloated and incoherent as his late uncle. He’s isolated many of his friends and his fifteen minutes of fame has ended. He even talks about not wanting to be around and wishing he was dead.
Looking at the 35-year-old Bam, I see two things. First, money doesn’t necessarily buy you happiness. I know it’s a cliché and, quite frankly, money would buy me all the video games and rum I could ever want. But seeing a young kid who had so much plummet so far wakes you up. A lot of child stars follow the same path. They get famous at a young age, they get hooked on drugs and booze, and either live a shit existence or die at a young age.
The other lesson is the effects of grief. Bam says, “I never had anybody, anybody I cared about died and know what that was like. Then suddenly my best friend dies. Like fuck…what do you do now?” His answer was to take out his sorrow on his liver.
That’s what grief does. It’s an overwhelming feeling that has the power to take over your life. People cope in different ways. Some are better than others, but there are terrible ways to deal with it. Whether its drugs, booze, or pills, some people do what they can for a moment, a quick release from the pain. But more often than not, it comes at a price.
We can learn a lot from the tale of a happy, well off kid who turned into a ballooned suicidal drunk. We can learn to be more content about our station in life. And while we can’t completely prepare for any grief that comes our way, when it comes, we can learn better ways to cope.
Learn from Bam. Don’t become him.
