10 Baffling Moments In “All Roads Lead Home” (2008)

10 Baffling Moments In “All Roads Lead Home” (2008)

This is a kids movie.

Dennis Fallon’s 2008 coming-of-age drama “All Roads Lead Home” is described by Google as a film about a “young girl struggling with the death of her mother (who) finds love with a small puppy named Atticus,” but don’t let that ordinary kids movie description fool you: there is so much more going on here. So much more.

This movie tries to tie everything together by the end. It does have a plot. It does have character growth. Then why, oh why, is it such a struggle to get through the film, let alone care about anything that’s happening? Let’s dig in:

1. The opening shot is only 3 seconds overhead of a car driving

...and then the shot changes to one of a mother reading a book on a porch, with no explanation whatsoever. Confused? Get used to it: the editing and transitions throughout the film go exactly like this.

2. Phrases such as “nomenclative”

...and “our consortium is agreeable to the terms of your stud fees” will be the first of many phrases and moments that make you think, “Isn’t this a movie for kids?”

3. Belle, the protagonist (but is she, really?), is asleep when her mom drives off the road

But the audience isn’t (not yet, at least) and the death is comical. You’re lead to believe there’s a deer in the road, but you can’t see it. If you laugh at a death, namely the tragic catalyst for every conflict and emotional moment in the movie, all hope is lost for the rest of the film.

4. There’s a moment we’re introduced to a vet

...and she’s in the middle of explaining to an Asian client holding a cat that he can’t keep feeding it egg rolls and moo shu pork, to which he replies, “No, no MGH,” as if he wants to keep the cat healthy for when he decides to eat it.

5. Belle’s father suggests he wants to “wring” her

...which is both a horrible pun and a concerning threat. This is a kids movie.

6. The vet hits on Belle’s dad and asks him out, RIGHT after he gets emotional about his wife’s death

Need I say more?

7. Belle’s dad, an animal control worker, rents out a room in a vacant motel

...so he can fill it with cats instead of killing them off. Yes, seriously.

8. When asked how he survives, inn-keeper Peter Boyle goes on a contradictory two-minute monologue

...about how surviving doesn’t matter but being useful does, citing seeing fireballs and rain in front of him as examples of being useful.

9. Belle keeps letting animals escape from pounds

...and stables to rescue them from death, even after her first stunt lead to the death of something like five dogs. This is a kids movie.

10. The final scene of the movie focuses on a parrot

...we see for a total of 30 seconds in the beginning of the film.

Maybe you’re confused. I could explain more, but I don’t think it would help. See it for yourself.

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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The Logan Paul Fiasco Is Just A Symptom Of A Much Larger Problem

In the wake of Logan Paul's suicide forest debacle, I decided to explore how this could even happen in the first place.

Wow, 2018 sure has started off with a bang, hasn't it? First, Donald Trump seemingly threatens North Korea with nuclear annihilation. Then, all these stupid memes about tide pods and Knuckles the echidna circulate across the web, and finally, Logan Paul decided that he would not be outdone.

Yes, the YouTube star decided to vlog in Japan, and every foreigner who has ever hated American tourists for their arrogance and ignorance has been validated. When he arrived in the country, Paul stated that Japanese culture was all about respect. He then proceeded to run around streets in traditional Japanese attire, buy a Game Boy Color from a store only to immediately spike it on the road like a football, and oh yeah, went to the suicide forest, and decided to film the body of a man they found who had recently hung himself in the forest.

Yep, Logan Paul found a dead body and decided to post it on YouTube. I imagine this is what the end of "Stand By Me" would've looked like if it were written today, and by a trash person. Paul has since apologized after lots of backlashes.

Logan Paul is one of, if not the fastest growing star on YouTube, and this controversy has barely affected his ascent in subscribers, some of which defended his actions, and even sent threats to those who didn't. Also, I feel I am justified in saying that both Logan and his brother Jake Paul (a former Disney channel actor turned YouTuber) are both arrogant pricks who make their livings messing with people and being an overall nuisance to anyone they encounter and have no concept of consequences for their actions, but this article isn't about them.

I believe that their popularity is only a result of several fundamental problems with YouTube.

First, I want to get into YouTube's algorithms. It's how the site decides what videos are recommended for you, and more importantly to this story, what videos are on the trending page. Logan Paul's suicide forest video, the one with the dead body in the thumbnail, and the one with the words "dead body" in the title was NUMBER 1 on trending.

YouTube's algorithm exposed millions of people to this deplorable video.

YouTube wasn't even able to take the video down; this was a video that had to have been flagged thousands of times, and it was only removed because Logan Paul himself took it down after all of the backlashes. YouTube was simply unable to do anything about this, and there have to be changed to ensure that they don't let things like this slip through the cracks again.

The real question, at least to me, is why even make a video this ridiculous and ignorant and disrespectful in the first place?

The answer, of course, is for the content. Unfortunately, this is not new. YouTubers have been doing shocking things to get views for years now, and this has led to the bar being raised. Many things that were shocking before simply aren't anymore. We've seen it so many times we get numb, so creators come up with even crazier things to do. Eventually, it becomes normalized, and the cycle continues on and on until we have people filming dead bodies in haunted forests.

YouTubers are trying to get a rise out of us so that we click on their videos, and they're seeing how much they can get away with. It seems that on the internet, no matter which site you go to, the loudest, most obnoxious, most divisive voices always rise to the top, but they don't have to. We can resist that knee-jerk angry share that they want from us.

We don't have to give these idiots the light of day, and we can tell them that we have had enough of their crap, not with our voices, but with our views, because once those go away, they'll have no choice but to listen up.

Cover Image Credit: Esther Vargas

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