There are some things that you learn from experience, one of which is the return to college. You've had some time off and may or may not be looking forward to going back. Nonetheless, every semester's beginning feels like "Groundhogs Day" — same crap, different year. And so, here are all the phases college students suffer through during their first week back at school.
1. The "Goodbye, Mom and Dad" phase.
Don't bother lying to yourself. This happens to everyone, even if it's just for a moment.
2. The "pep talk" phase.
Usually occurring the morning before classes begin, this phase can last minutes or hours.
3. The "I need coffee, but I'm already broke" phase.
You tell yourself the line is too long just so you can save a few bucks. Just don't fall asleep in class.
4. The "it's my seat so back off" phase.
Miami University / FacebookIt's the unspoken rule that your seat on the first day of class will most likely be your seat on the last day of class. And if you mess this system up, then screw you and the whole frickin' social pyramid.
5. The "you should really get to know me" phase.
GiphyThere's at least one person (or professor) who always tries to play it cool. Don't think too far into it.
6. The "fun-fact introduction" phase.
No, professor, I will not give a fun fact about myself. Nice try, though!
7. The "bathroom break" phase.
You're not funny, you're not cool, and you're pissing me off. So, I'm out.
8. The "broken promises" phase.
Whether it's your professor apologizing for making you spend $120 on a textbook you won't need or running into that old floormate of yours that always says "it's nice to see you" even though they hate your guts, everyone is a liar.
9. The "remembering and neglecting responsibilities" phase.
And that's why you began watching "Friends" for the fifth time.
10. The "mandatory meeting" phase.
Mandatory floor meetings, college org meetings, and copy-editing meetings are just... no.
11. The "long lost friendship" phase.
You're reunited and it feels so good.
12. The "getting into the swing of things" phase.
You've survived the first week of classes, you kind of got it together, and you're happy you made it this far.
13. The "thank f*** we made it to the weekend" phase.
Let the party dance of syllabus week commence.
