Season premiere of The Bachelor
Start writing a post

Season 23 of "The Bachelor" started off with about 45 minutes of "live" television featuring watching parties around the country, awkward hot tub scenes, and a painfully high amount of virgin jokes. The question, "When do we see the limos??" rang throughout viewers' heads for almost an hour. There were two on-air engagements also, because what's more romantic than being proposed to on a tv show in which 30 women compete for one man? Honestly, a lot. After struggling through the live segments, it was finally time to watch the contestants come out of the limos and try to make their best first impression on Colton. While they were chatting throughout the night, a lot of reactions were hilarious, but also relatable.

1. "If one more pageant person comes in, I'm out"

Out of all the contestants, Miss Alabama and Miss North Carolina were two of them. In fact, they competed against each other in the Miss USA competition. Now, they're in another competition against each other, this time for Colton. At least now there are only 28 other contestants instead of 49!

2. "She brought her dog... it's just - I'm fine..."

Colton loves dogs. One of the contestants brought her dog when she came out of the limo. The other girls were upset because they also have super cute dogs that they could've brought.

3. "I really could have done a lot more than a bag of nuts"

One woman's last name was "McNutt" so when she came out of the limo she gave Colton a bag of nuts, hoping that would help him remember her name. When another contestant comes out of a Cinderella-like carriage and light blue dress to match, McNutt felt like a bag of nuts was not enough. Later on in the night when she got to talk one on one with Colton he did not remember her name at all. Whoops.

4. "He needs to know I'm not, like, just fruit"

A contestant from Georgia brought Colton a peach when she came out of the limo because since she's from Georgia she's a sweet peach. Later on, she hoped he wouldn't think of her as "that crazy peach girl."

5. "Oh my gosh she's in the damn tree"

So, um, one of the women decided to make her limo exit dressed as a sloth. She used the line "I heard you like to take things slowwwwlyyy," in reference to Colton's virginity. There were so many virginity jokes it was so bad. At one point in the night, the other women wondered where the "sloth girl" was, and found her in a tree. Yes, an actual tree.

6. "I heard you were drowning in some bitches"

One of the women interrupted Colton when he was talking with another contestant. She had scuba goggles (where did she get those??) to emphasize her "drowning" line.

7. "If the sloth gets a rose over me I'm gonna lose it"

Every woman was thinking it. Never in my life did I think I would have to google "Did the sloth get the rose?"

8. "Hi, can I borrow Colton?" (three times)

One of the contestants, who I personally compare to Jordan from Becca's season on "The Bachelorette," interrupted Colton's conversations with other girls three times - three! For a total of four meetings with him. Obviously, she got the rose at the end because every Bachelor season needs a villain.

The sloth, two pageant women, and a dog seemed to be the biggest events during season 23's premiere. Also, can we PLEASE stop mentioning Colton's virginity? I'm just thankful that next week's episode won't be three hours long with unnecessary live segments!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

In an already unprecedented political landscape, things aren't looking so bright for mail-in voters heading into November's election. In 46 states and Washington D.C., post offices received a warning that mail-in ballots may not be counted on time to count on election day, according to a report by the Washington Post.

Keep Reading... Show less
FOX

"New Girl" is one of the best sitcoms of all time. Honestly, it is so much fun to watch, so much fun to relate to, just all around a great show.

Not only is a great show, it has so many different great settings, obviously including the loft. If you live by Nick Miller quotes and desperately tried to learn how to play "True American," you need to buy these things because you are a true "New Girl" fan.

Keep Reading... Show less

You know those items you've been pinning to your Home board on Pinterest for [insert amount of time]? Well, it's officially the moment to turn that wishlist into a married life reality, and it's going to be SO fun.

But, before you get to shopping and adding things to your upgraded bridal wishlist (sorry, Pinterest, it was lovely while it lasted), you'll first want to decide where you want to open your registry (or registries, if you want options). Here are 17 of the best websites and stores to consider saying "I do" to for your wedding registry, to have and to hold for as long as people are buying you wedding gifts.

Keep Reading... Show less

If you've ever been in the dating game, or currently are, chances are you've had a date gone wrong. These are often times super embarrassing, but they are always funny to look back on.

Keep Reading... Show less

I just recently got engaged and planning a wedding during a pandemic is actually kind of a nightmare.

A lot of venues are taken for 2021 because of corona brides and grooms who have had to reschedule their weddings and the same goes for other vendors and literally everything else.

Keep Reading... Show less

While promoting her most recent movie, "Work It," Sabrina Carpenter has divulged some of her favorite beauty products to interviewers.

Keep Reading... Show less

When I say we can't stop thinking about the relationship advice Miley Cyrus dropped on "Call Her Daddy" today, I mean it literally.

Her truth bombs hit me (and most who listened) like a wrecking ball and coupled with the release of her new song "Midnight Sky," we're going to need some time to process the greatness. In case you haven't listened yet (what are you waiting for?), here are 10 relationship tips Miley shared that we should all live by for the rest of time.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Founders Of Color: Rec Room's Dre Taylor On What Blackness Can Look Like And Not Working For Free

"It mattered to me that when we were depicting racial diversity for Rec Room, we showed the broad spectrum of what Blackness can look like."

Rec Room

The world of sustainable fashion is inundated with marketing gimmicks, false advertising, and large corporations cutting corners — Rec Room is the pure antithesis of that.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 At-Home Therapy Tips You Need, No Matter What Your Therapy Routine Is

Whether you're in a Zoom session or live-chatting, make sure your home therapy space is good to go.

No matter what stigmas you held about therapy before this year, I'm sure 2020 has affirmed that we could ALL use a nice long therapy session. Between wildfires that took over an entire continent, a global health crisis, and what's sure to be one giant circus of an election in the United States, we need help and we need it now.

The fact of the matter is, therapy has been a helpful, valid resource long before the world decided to become one giant dumpster fire. Having a safe space to discuss what's going on in your life, worries you have, and struggles you're facing has become a very normal thing for individuals' mental health.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dunkin' just announced that they'll be releasing their fall menu earlier than ever — set to debut on August 19 — and that it'll include new menu options this season, including a new signature pumpkin spice latte. Let me just say, Starbucks has some fall-menu competition now.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments